Funniest.story.ever

**First I must say my blogger is acting funky. It won't let me center my post NOR make it purple. Hmph. AND it's some kinda bold weirdness with some italics placed in the wrong spots. I can't preview it either so I cannot be responsible for how this post looks. And ya'll know this control fuh-reak doesn't like that! I don't know what's going on but it's uber annoying**

Friday night, my friend Shauna & I were supposed to go out. Ya know - just dinner & a movie. Our hubbies are going out of town together this coming weekend & we had planned it for when they were gone. However, we (Shauna) got our wires crossed & she has to work this weekend so we rescheduled for this past weekend.

It's a long story (like THIS one's not gonna be...psssh) but she wanted to know if the boys could come. B-rad couldn't put down nitrogen because it was too wet so I said, "sure...the boys can come..." (That was my first mistake....)

We went to 4th Street to eat dinner. We saw there was a concert stage set up with a few people hanging out around. I figured it couldn't be anyone too big because surely they wouldn't be at 4th Street? We ate at T.G.I. Friday's & I had a drink with dinner. (That was my 2nd mistake....)

The boys blabbed about boring motorcycle stuff & Shauna said, "Is this all their gonna talk about?" To which I replied, "Hey, you're the one who wanted to bring them!" This became the running joke all night.

Ok so after dinner, we are standing on 4th street & Shauna was smoking. She knows I don't like smoke & she's pretty considerate about that. All of a sudden, I had ashes on me. I said, "Sheesh bitch, can you NOT flip ashes on me?!" (Let's alllll remember I had a drink. Jaime Mac + drink = even looser lips...) She said, "IT WASN'T ME!" as she proceeded to wipe ashes off my chest & hair. When she was finished, I said, "Geez, I think you missed a spot..." So she uhm, er, uh grabbed my chest... (this was the beginning of the end of the nice lovely evening...) We soon realized somebody on the walkway above us had dropped their ashes on me so we decided to re-locate.

As we walked past the stage, there were a TON of people there. Like I'm talking where there were maybe 10 when we went in, there were now hundreds. Shauna asked a chick on the front row who was playing. She said, "Thompson Square." I said, 'Hmph, I don't know who THEY are!' So she said again, "Thompson Square?" "UH, Nope, still dunno who they are." Then this chick says to me (serious as a heart attack) "Are you gonna kiss me or not?!" UHM hold up. Pump the brakes. So I replied, "Me? No - not right now....!" And she just kinda stared at me. I said, "Oh, don't get me wrong, you're a catch, but you're just not my type." Then Shauna starts screaming at me, "That's the name of their song!" Ruh-roh.... I think the chick that propositioned me was more embarassed than I was. She turned red & all kinds of colors. I just laughed it off & was like ,"Oh, I don't know them OR their song...I just thought you wanted me to kiss you..." Tee. Hee. Errr. Uhm, gulp.

So we decided to get the hell out of 4th Street. People there are ca-razy. B-rad was driving & downtown Louisville is like Beirut to me. I have no clue where I'm going. One way streets confuse me & I just crawl into the fetal position & suck my thumb. We came up on a street (NO CLUE which one...I just know it was near the Kentucky Center for the Arts). There were police cars in the road. And lots & lots & lots of people. Then I saw cheerleader lookin' people with pom-poms & I was like, 'OH, it's the Cardinal Caravan! I saw they were gonna here on tv this morning!' Then I saw lovely colorful flags. Like blue. And red. And orange. And purple. And then I was like, "UHM is this a gay pride rally or what?!"

Then we turned the corner. And we saw cars lined up. With poster board signs that said, "GAY PRIDE" Holy crap, it WAS a gay pride parade. There were people (I dunno if they were men or women...) in leather vests, pants & hats. And others in frilly stuff & tu-tu's.

I thought we were gonna die laughing. It was quite the gay inspired evening (not that there's anything wrong with that...). But if I learned nothing else from having Shauna grab my chest, being propositioned to kiss a chick or the gay pride parade is this: whilst drinking makes my mouth even mouthier, it also disables my abilities to think clearly enough to realize I need to get my dang camera out & takes pics. I didn't take one pic the whole night. (LOSER!) I would've loved for you stalkers to see the gay pride parade... & of course, my new girlfriend.