Dear Amanda, you ask...I answer

Sooooo... Amanda has asked when I plan on doing another 'you ask, I answer' session because she has questions about the farm.  To be honest, Amanda, NEVER!  I had NO plans on doing another one.  

No one cares about anything except wanting to know why I don't want to reproduce. Tear...

(And really, haven't we beat that one into the ground stalkers, hhhhmmmm?)

BUT, lucky for you, Amanda - there's nothing I love more than talking about myself educating people about farm life.  And your wish is my command...so please, ask away.  Depending on your questions, I may have to do some research with the only farmer I know smarter than me (that's B-rad...) AND I may include pictures.  Be still your hearts.

I GUESS if you other loyal stalkers have any questions for me that don't include why I don't want to have kids that you are dying to know, go ahead...take your shot...

P.S. - Amanda - please feel free to ask questions whenever you want.  I don't mind answering anything. (I'm not sure if you've learned my special kind of sarcasm yet, but I totally did not sit in the tractor & not ask a zillion questions & I totally did not sit in that tractor & NOT complain about being uncomfortable...)

You see, when I do nice things like this - it always seems to bite me in the ass...

Your Memorial Days were better than ours

So I've been reading, reading, reading blog posts about your Memorial Day festivities.  Ah - fun in the sun - whether it be pool-side, lakefront-side or campfire-side.

Good.for.you.

Clearly from the name of the blog, you have realized we are my hubby is a farmer.  A hard working farmer who doesn't get a day off just because the calendar tells him so.  Hmph.

I knew he would be working his little tail off over Memorial day weekend.  Planting is done, but now comes the task of going back over all the corn & side dressing.  Farming is never, never, done.  Sigh.

And lets just be honest here - there's nothing I love more than sitting on my couch, watching tv & napping so I wasn't too upset about it.

On Saturday, I knew I still had 2 good days of sitting, watching & napping left so when I took B-rad lunch, I stayed to grace him with my presence & ride around with him for a bit.

Notice the steps on the tractor?  Uhm, yea-those little metal teeth are murder on flip flops.  

I've told you a zillion times, my B-rad is a fancy farmer.  I was quite impressed at his electronic gadgets.  

We stopped for a bit so he could eat (no, he doesn't trust ME to drive...duh...) & he pushed a button on one of the gadgets & facebook popped up.  I was like, what the hell?  If you look closely - you can see his iPad mounted on the left & his phone mounted on the right.  Wow. 

(I will say his iPad actually is officially doing farm business here.  He has all the maps of all the farms on there so he can see the planting maps.  It's just a happy accident for him he can also use it to facebook whilst he eats lunch in the middle of nowhere.)

 So this, my stalkers, is how B-rad spent his Memorial Day weekend.  Rows & rows & rows of corn...

I know B-rad enjoys having me in the tractor.  It's a nice change for him - you know, he has me to talk to when normally he's in there allllll alone...

I don't complain about being un-comfortable.  I don't complain about being bored.  I don't complain about the rough ride.  I don't act like a kid & ask 10 zillion questions.... yep, he loves it...

Happy birthday to Maxine!

Rhonda had a birthday party this weekend for her daughter, Maxine.  B-rad couldn't go because he was planting corn so mom & I went.  Rhonda lives in the mecca of the city...30 seconds from Oxmoor Mall.  Can you hear the angels singing?  She has a nice home with a small yard & patio.

Here's the birthday girl!

Oh, did I forget to mention Maxine is a freaking DOG?!  

 Uh, yea.  Rhonda is quite the quirky gal.  She is a dachsund rescuer person & she has 7-8 dogs living with her at all times until they find homes.  Every year she does a full on party for Maxine.  I'm not sure why Maxine is so special?  I think she's had her forever & she was her first real dog?  Not real sure.  I DO know that last year Maxine's birthday party fell on the same day as Rhonda's real birthday & she made a bigger deal of Maxine than herself.  Blasphemy, I say...

Dogs were certainly welcome at this madness.

 And we took Butteflies dogs with us.  Oh my word they drove me bonkers.  

Dogs are very un-predictable.  I was a nervous wreck when they would snap & bark at each other.  (Kinda like I am when real children are fighting & playing.)  That big yellow dog in the middle kept trying to 'hump' the other smaller dogs.  Hmph, men...

 And if you thought this party couldn't get ANY more weird...you would be mistaken.  All of a sudden, leashes came out from everywhere.

 

 And we all gathered at the end of the driveway...

to do a dog parade around the block.... oh, the humanity...

 After the parade, Rhonda let the kids serve Maxine's cake to the other dogs.  

Yea, Rhonda made it...it was a dog friendly cake.  

 There were a couple of people snacks.  She had these cake pops - dog themed...duh. 

 (They were delicious, by the way...)

 Last year apparently there was a problem negotiating which were the people snacks & which were the dog snacks.  This year - each snack had a sign.

This was the weirdest birthday party I've EVER been too.  Seriously.  One dog pooped a massive poop on her sidewalk right as you walk in.  Lovely.  Rhonda just took a broom & brushed it off.  Gag.  Dogs sniffing each others butts.... big dogs humping little dogs....dogs sniffing & peeing all over the yard...kids fighting over which dog they would walk in the parade...

Of course, it's all in good fun & Rhonda is silly like that - but really....it was kinda weird...

(Yes, I MEANT to put those pictures of the people/dog snacks side by side.  I know some of you are having trouble navigating the new blogger... you have to put the cursor beside the picture on the right & hit enter a couple of times to create a space.  Then take which ever pic you want on top, highlight it & drag it up.  It's a good thing you stalkers have me...)

The country is soooo great. Bleh.

There have been many a post (from me) bitching & whining discussing the the plight of the oppressed people who live in the country.  And it's like anything else, the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side.  I get it.  

Ginmommy City folk think the country is sooo great.  It's sooo peaceful.  It's soooo pretty.

Jaime Mac Country folk think the country is sooo boring.  It's sooo far away from civilization.  

Grass.other side.greener.

So-this weekend I found something that you country lovers are just gonna slobber over.  If it doesn't make you throw your hi-speed internet havin', close to the mall bein' houses up for sale - I will be shocked.

Like a good country wife, I had to go meet my farmer & follow him while he moved to another field.  I was thrilled about this.  Hmph.

The tractor is so wide, it takes up almost all of the lovely, curvy, hilly country roads.

Then we got on the highway & if he didn't hang one of the tires over the white line, he would've been over the center line.  Egads...

I got him all moved & the next day I had to take him lunch. Get ready, country lovers - it's coming.  What you've been waiting for.... can you read that sign?

ONE.LANE.BRIDGE.  Gulp. 

 (what I LOVE about this sign is that there is NO & I mean NOOOO warning it's coming.  That sign is all.you.get.  And it's 4 inches in front of the start of the one lane bridge. On the other side the road curves so it's hard to tell if anyone is coming until the last minute.  Sigh.) 

 Going over this scary ass, scenic, rust-ic bridge really connects you with nature.  The wonderful noises it makes as your car races over it are truly inspiring & makes you feel like you could come crashing down at any moment at one with the earth. 

 (Disclaimer - we did NOT take the tractor over this bridge.  Are you kidding me?  There's no way!)

 The moral is - I gotta one lane bridge.  Beat that.  

Ginmommy you asked me once about if I'd ever wanna live in the city.  Yes. Yes. Yessssssssss.  Waaaaaaaa.  I can't take it anymore.

The dreaded red dress...

Ya'll remember me talking about the Red Dress Gala I qualified to attend in Fort Worth in July?  Do ya'll also remember the pesky little detail that you have to wear a dress... hence the name 'red dress gala'?  Sigh.  And remember that I hate dresses....& shopping for dresses?

Well, after my little weekend of torture shopping at the outlet malls & Debbie helping me find the right dress, I began my search online.  I googled 'red wrap dresses' & off I went.  God bless the internet.  I found a couple of different ones so I ordered them both to see which one I liked better.  

This is dress numero uno. 

 It was VERY low in the front so I had to put a cami under it.

As I struggled to get out of dress numero uno, I saw this on tv. 

 Bet this bitch had no issues finding her red dress.  Hmph.

 Dress numero dos.  

Not as low in the front, but I felt like it made my boobs look humongous.  (I realize they are humongous, but they didn't look as humungo in numero uno.)

 

My original plan was to let you loyal stalkers vote.  Unfortunately for you, I really, really liked one dress over the other & there was NO way I was letting such an important decision rest in your hands.  

So, I  picked dress numero uno.  I love how the skirt is kind of gathered on the side & has the separation of fabric.  I like the top even though it's low I can find a cute cami to go under it.  I also like the belt that hangs down.

Now, to find jewelry...surely that won't be a problem?

The bathroom 2.0

Ah, our spare bathroom....it's the room that just.won't.stop.  I recently posted the before & mostly after pics, but you loyal stalkers are just always wanting more.  Sheesh.  What's a blogger to do?  

Ok-give you more...

Now-you should be jealous because Miss Denise Ellnor got to see the bathroom live & in living color on Saturday.  Yea-she gushed about how much she loved it.  Uh, duh...

I was having a hard time coming up with a nice shower curtain to put on the tub that matched everything.  B-rad suggested we put a door on it, but I really didn't want to do that because I'm cheap.

He eventually talked me into it...& I hate to admit it...but I'm REALLY glad he did.

SO-here's the final before & afters, people!

Before:

AFTER!!!

 Before:

 AFTER!!! 

 Here are the newest (& final) additions!  I bought the green thing at Wal-mart.  

The clear hurricane vases have little glass chips that are all different colors.  Definitely NOT kid friendly.  Small shards of glass...within reach of small hands... egads...

I originally wanted them on the towel shelf thingie, but they were too much for up there.  

They look nicer on the counter.

 I bought some wash clothes & my original plan was to roll them up & put them in a little basket on this shelf.  Well, uhm, I didn't have a basket so I just rolled them up & sat them there.  Turns out, I like them like that.

And here's my Martha Mac trick.  I used scotch tape to keep them rolled up.  Sshhh, don't tell anyone...

 I had too many dangerous, colorful shards of glass to fill the clear vases so I got the bright idea of laying them around the candles.  This is even closer to the edge for small hands to grab... if your kids come here & have to potty, you'll have to sign a waiver first...

 This is almost a full view, including the circle print on the opposite wall.  Me likes... 

 My favorite thing is this stinkin' rug.  It was on sale at Kohl's for $18(!).  I had 20% off so that helped.  It's  got all the colors I've got going on.

 And here's the best view I could get of the whole room, except you can't see the towels.  There's a hallway outside the bathroom with a quilt thing there so it's hard to back up far enough.  

(Just ask Denise - she knows...)

OK-so I love this bathroom.  I really, really do.  I go in there sometimes & just turn the light on & look around.  (Yes, I'm weird.)  I'm not sure which room I want to do next?  Alicia-I haven't forgotten about your offer to help pick wall colors!  I am DEFINITELY going to have you come help when I do the living room, dining room & kitchen since they're all one.gigantic.room.  Sigh... who knows when that will be though?  This bathroom has really taken it outta me!

Best Derby day ever

It's been a while since B-rad & I had FUN.  Like going out with friends, eating, drinking and laughing FUN.   He's busy, busy, busy getting corn planted & I'm busy, busy, busy waiting for him to call me to rush him there, take him this, move him there.  Which he did Thursday night at 8:45.  He has learned it's better to warn me than to just spring it on me.  I need time to prepare...& think....& pout.  So I knew moving him to another field was in my near future.  He wasn't sure of the time, so I said, "Well, I probably shouldn't make supper then because you'll call right in the middle of me making it."  Oh darn...

At 8:45 PM on Thursday night, the dreaded phone call came...

B-rad:  "I'm ready to move."

Jaime Mac:  "Sighhhhhhh."

B-rad:  "I'm gonna come past the house.  Be ready to just pull out & follow me to the field."

Jaime Mac:  "LIKE RIGHT NOW?  DO I HAVE TIME TO AT LEAST PUT A BRA ON?"

B-rad:  "Yesssssss.  I'll be a minute - I still have to fold the planter up."

And with that - we were off.   We moved the planter & then we had to go back to another field to get B-rad's truck.  It was about 10:15 when we got back home.  

Then it rained Friday night.  Like rained hard enough that no planting can be done.  Now - I NEVER, EVER, EVER curse the rain.  (& I better never hear any of the rest of you either!)  They get all bent outta shape when it rains & they're trying to get done (which I GET), but if it we don't get rain - it's all for nothing. Plus, I like the rain because B-rad gets to rest...& stay home...& fight with me...

We got up Saturday with no real plans.  I don't really care about Derby & all that stuff.  Even if I did, B-rad is always busy this time of year so there's no real point in making plans.  I was talking to Shauna on the phone & she knew B-rad couldn't work.  She asked what we had planned for that night & suddenly a plan for fun was born.  

HALLELUJAH.  I NEEDED SOME FUN!!!!

She asked us over for dinner.  B-rad said, "yea, we can ride the bike." Whoa.  Pump.the.brakes.  The bike is nice & all, but let me tell ya about how it affects a chick.  The helmet (to protect my pretty little head) does  ABSOLUTELY nothing for my hair.  I can't wear earrings because the helmet will drive the backs into my neck.  (& I do NOT leave my house without earrings.  Major no-no...).  I will also smell like exhaust the whole.entire.night.  BLAH.  I was excited to have a FUN night - to get dressed all cute & fix my hair & be FUN!  Exhaust smell does not work into that equation!

I tried to pout & cry to B-rad, "B-rad, I will smell exhausty allllll night...  Sniff"  

"B-rad, my hair will look stuuuuuupid....boo hoo."  

Sigh, he wasn't hearing it.  He doesn't care about my hair or what I smell like...hmph...

Suddenly, B-rad  made a side plan with Brian (Shauna's hubby).  He was out doing some manly motorcycle shopping stuff & B-rad was going to ride the bike over to meet him.  I was going to get to drive myself over later...in something with 4 wheels!  YAY for no exhaust smell!!!!!!

I beg & beg B-rad to let me drive the Mustang.  He always tells me no.  Sniff, sniff.  But I think he knew I needed the speed.  I needed the feeling of when I get road rage & can kick that bitch down into 4th & blow whoever is pissing me off away.  Goodness I love that car...

He got it out of the garage for me (long story...the door is broken & it's a whole thing...) & I was ready to go.   I.love.driving.this.car.

When I got to their house, the boys were already back so Shauna & I got in the road rage car to go to get stuff to make supper.  (Uhm, yea - she invited us over for dinner but didn't have anything to fix...that's why I love her!)  We had a good time driving fast, laughing at me for making the car lunge in 2nd, having the windows down & cranking up the cd I burned minutes before I left of my favorite iTunes...

 Shauna & I made dinner (& by that I mean I stirred when she said 'stir', I checked stuff when she said 'check stuff'...) while the boys.... uhm....not really sure what they did.  They were no where around while dinner was being cooked.  We had a VERY yummy dinner & ate out on their deck.  We had a drink (or 2...) (and I was getting hot so all my pretty jewelry started to come off...) with dinner & after we cleaned up - they all went swimming.  Oh yea - Shauna has a pool.  (Stay away from her, people - she belongs to me...)  I don't really like getting wet, so I sat outside, drank & watched them swim. 

We sat out on the deck the entire evening.  (It was hot & steamy & you know what that means for my poor hair.  Curly & uncontrollable.  So my pretty hair got pulled up into a messy bun.)  Usually the boys play video games but we told them they weren't allowed to this night.  At one point we were all on our phones or iPad's checking facebook.  Sad, I tell ya...  Brian had the tiki torches lit & the fire inspired the boys to get some fireworks out & annoy us with those.

We had bought mini-cupcakes at the store.  Brian brought them out to snack on.  I'm a little fuzzy on exactly what happened next.  I remember him offering me a cupcake & acting like he was going to stick it in my face.  I was like Gumby by this point & my arms just flailed around aimlessly.  He made a comment about that & it.was.on.  I jumped up & grabbed a cupcake & attempted to put it in his face.  Well, he's strong people...& I was a little tipsy & I didn't stand a chance.  He had my arms pinned down to my sides & I was just gripping my cupcake while it oozed between my fingers.  I laughed until I couldn't breath & he finally let go when one of my earrings fell out. (What did I tell you about my earring rule?)

  So then I wiped my hands on his face...

 I was cupcake free except for my hands.  I needed to stumble go inside to wash them.  I politely asked their 4 year old son to open the door for me.  He was MORE than willing to do it, but Brian being the chivalrous guy he is insisted on opening it for me.  Wasn't that sweet?  I started to walk through the door & BAM!  Cupcake.to.my.face.  I was NOT on my 'a' game, people.   

Never, ever thought he'd do that...alcohol is the devil...

B-rad was quick to run in & take my pic.  He's the best.  Notice the cupcake on my hands...that's what I was attempting to smash in Brian's face... pitiful... (I know I left chunks of cupcake in their sink...sorry, Shauna.)  This fight will go down in history alongside our fight from their Halloween party... (I hope you remember that one?  A VERY drunk Brian tried to pin me to the ground... I hadn't had a drop to drink so I was able to pin him instead.   It was hilarious & all caught on camera...)

But isn't my purple top cute? 

At some point in the evening, Shauna made a little comment about this being, 'the best Derby day ever.'  

I think that says it all.  What a fun, fun, fun, fun, fun night.  I soooooo needed it!!!!!  

Thank you SO much for having us over!

 

The bathroom...before and after

Ya'll remember how I told you the first whole.entire.room I was re-doing our spare bathroom?  Well, it is really, really close to being done.  And lets face it - I'm really stepping up my game in the blogging department so I wanted to tell you about it now before I have my next nervous breakdown. 

This is it before.  

Wow.  I'm almost embarrassed to share this with you.  Lucky for you I have no shame.  Please note the hodge podge of stuff.  Fishy themed curtain & towels & some other crap I liked thrown on the walls.  

For shame, for shame.

Since our walls aren't dry wall like normal houses, we have to do about 9,423 steps before we even paint!  My job was to 'clean' the walls to get the sheen off of them.  B-rad left me one night, alone, to do this.  He said to me, "Now-make sure you get every, single spot.  If you don't, the paint won't stick!  I've seen how you wash a car..."  Sadly - he is correct...

So I cleaned the walls & then we had to primer them twice to cover up those damn flowers.  B-rad's knowledge of me & my lack of patience prompted him to cover in plastic every.single.square.inch of the bathroom.  

Nothing was left exposed - not even the floor.  "Hmph, B-rad - I think I can manage NOT to get paint on the floor..."  UH, yea - I totally got primer all over the floor...

 So this process has been long & drawn out - like anything that happens at my house.  I cleaned the walls one night.... primered them another...primered them again another...finally picked out paint on Easter (Yes, EASTER!) & painted the whole room (by myself) that night.  After the hail storm Saturday night, B-rad couldn't plant Sunday so he started to put all my stuff back into the room.

See this tape measure?  Who do you think this belongs to?  Me or B-rad?  

I find it hilarious that the boy has to use MY tools.  Wanna know WHY he uses my tools?  Because MY tools always get put back where they belong & shockingly he can find them.

The canvas that started it all.  

Oh yea - the room is a lovely shade of blue, by the way.  See the plant I made underneath?  (If you ever come over & use the bathroom, this is the view you will have if you, ahem, use the potty...)

I bought new fixtures to update them from the boring woods ones I had.  Yea, B-rad loved doing this.

BEFORE:  Hodge podge...

AFTER:  Circles & color to continue the theme from the canvas.  (look at me...)

 BEFORE:  fishy themed towels on boring wooden rails.  

(That little potpourri thing in the corner has been there since we moved in.  At my bridal shower, my maid of honors mom won it & she gave it back to me for my new house.  What did I tell you about me just sticking stuff I like in a spot & then that's it?  Sheesh...)

 AFTER:  new towel rack thingie with lots of room for me to add some stuff.  The tray thingie I bought to put the candles on is a bit too big for the counter. 

 (Luckily no one actually uses this bathroom so it should be fine there....)

 I couldn't take an after pic of the shower because it's bare right now.  One of the things I still need to do is get a shower curtain & rugs for the floor.  At some point I also need to change the hardware on the cabinet to make it match.  LOVE that brassy gold color.  Blah.