End of the week update

This week has been non-stop for both B-rad & I. I've had no time for anything...including a good nights sleep. Sigh...

Monday night I had a jewelry show. There were a ton of people there in attendance for the hostess! Including some of my loyal blog stalkers! Thanks again, ladies! Always good to see ya!


Tuesday night I went 'in town' to buy the supplies for Erin's bridal shower I'm hosting tomorrow. I also ordered the cupcakes to pick up today. I also stopped by the bff's to pick up a cooler & to check to make sure she wasn't on suicide watch.... her son was moving to IU the next day for his freshman year!


Wednesday night I was able to stay home. I had to close 2 jewelry shows. I had big, big plans for a nap after work. But as I was trying to nap - I got a phone call. Then I decided I should get my bootie off the couch & work on the signs for the shower. Now, I ain't no DaVinci or nothin', at least you can read 'em! Thursday night I had an official jewelry meeting in Salem & didn't get home until 9:45.

And you may be wondering what B-rad was doing? Well... we sell our corn to Tyson in Ramsey & they grind it up to feed the chickens. One of their bins fell a couple of weeks ago. This is bad news because they shut everything down while they cleaned it up. No deliveries means no moo-lah for us. All that yellow stuff on the ground is corn, people!

Then they decided for this week only, they would accept deliveries on contracts farmers already had. So B-rad has had to rush home everyday to get in the semi to take a load of corn down before they close at 4:30. After he gets back from there he loads the truck for the next day & does other stuff around the barn. Most nights he has gotten home right before I have. However, today, I asked my cupcake to run past Sam's & pick up the cupcakes for the shower. Surprisingly he didn't gripe too much. He did mumble about having to leave work a little early so he could pick them up & be home in time to make it to Tyson's.

He texted me to ask why I ordered Hannah Montana cupcakes? I said, "Uhm, I didn't! Red roses!" He said, "Then why did they give me Hannah Montana?!" I just said, "NOOOOOO!" Then he texted me a pic of the cupcakes. See, I always pay when he does me a favor!

Then he sent me a pic of how crowded Sam's was. Whoopsie...sorry B-rad...

On Tuesday night, Mom, Jer & his friend, Rhonda made signs for us for his Ironman thingie Sunday. Mom texted me to ask what I wanted on my sign. Uhm, Jer's nickname is Jballs. I think that's hilarious. Mom? Not so much... So I hesitated when asking her to, "put something funny on my sign but use the name 'jballs'..."

This is mom's sign. At first I said it was gay & she didn't like that I said that -- but after seeing it, I do think it's cute. My signs for the shower are WAY better than these. Hmph...

My sign? Oh, I heart my sign! But I must explain. Munky is another nickname for a friend of ours from the motorcycle gang that is doing the ironman thingie too. Welllll, I don't really like Munky's wife. (Long story....) She was on facebook last week asking people to help her (imagine my best whiny voice...)"bake cookies for Derek's ironman race!" & asking people to hang out with her to, "cheer him on!" Gag. I was really proud of B-rad though, because he commented on her post, "Sure, Jer doesn't need anybody to cheer him on. Whatever!" Uhm, I didn't comment because I'm not friends with her. Surprise, surprise. So Jer knew about that & when I asked for something funny - this is what I got:

I know with that symbol you may be like, whaaaa? But it's suppose to be "jballs is GREATER THAN Munky"! Bwah ha ha ha! Perhaps the funniest part was mom reading it to me over the phone!

OK-so this weekend....oh, this weekend.... Tonight is Brady's birthday dinner. Today is his actual birthday AND it's my mommy's birthday too! I'm hosting the bridal shower for Erin tomorrow afternoon. Then Sunday I have to be at mom's bright & early at 5:30 AM to be in Louisville to see Jer jump off the dock into the nasty Ohio River to start the swim. He has to swim 2 miles up or down the river (I don't know which). Then he comes out of the water & gets on his bike & rides for 112 miles. The route takes him all the way to LaGrange & back. Then he has to run a marathon which is 26.2 miles. He will collapse, er I mean finish at 4th street. Mom & I are going to watch him swim, then get on the bike & ride away. He thinks it will take him about 10-12 hours so we will head back over to 4th street to watch him cross the finish. His bib has a chip in it so we can see where he is through the day on my super cool iphone. His bib # is 1413 & you can track him on www.ironmanlive.com/

Instead of coming back home, we were going to hang out & see a movie. However, I told mom we'd have to go to seperate movies because I was sure there was no movie out right now we could both agree on! Soooo, I found an even better solution! The fair! (& mom gets in for half price 'cuz she's a senior! Hee hee!) Oh my word! It's the last day of the fair! I bet I can get some GREAT deals! Hea-ven! I should probably leave my cash & credit cards at home...

The last hoorah that wasn't...

We spent Saturday & Sunday down at the lake...again. I had official jewelry business in Elizabethtown all day Saturday, so B-rad drove down without me & I met him there after my meeting.

He was all sad because this weekend was gonna be it for the lake visits. Next weekend I'm hosting my nieces bridal shower AND my brother is doing the Ironman triatholon. B-rad is going to a moto gp race in Indianapolis. The next weekend is Labor Day weekend which is typically the official end to summer, but the motorcycle gang decided to have their track day on Sunday & B-rad signed up (even though I told him not too because I knew he'd wanna be at the lake...). Then it's gonna be time to harvest. If ya haven't noticed, it's like the freakin' Mohave desert around here & the crops are drying down...fast.

So we were all ready for our last weekend of water, fun & sun. Welllll, no sooner than we got outside the marina - B-rad stopped the boat. He started looking at the engine. Then Brian came over in their boat & looked at the engine with him. They eventually deteremined that the thingie that brings water from the lake into the engine to keep it cool had gone out & the engine was overheating. No mo' boating for us....

We had to take the walk of shame back to the houseboat.... And poor B-rad was so sad. He couldn't believe this was how the final weekend was going to end... Then Brady had to pull the boat over to the dock with the jet ski so they could get in back on the trailer & take it over to the storage place.

While we were taking stuff up to the car, B-rad said to me, "I hate this time of year. It means no more coming to the lake..." To which I responded, "I love this time of year. It means no more coming to the lake..." Then we started to fight & argue about going to the lake.... ahhhhh, can ya feel the love?!

SILENCE! I keel you!

This year we had tickets to see Jeff Dunham at the Kentucky State Fair. For those of you who do NOT know who he is, he is a comedian...who is also a ventriloquist. And while I realize it sounds silly as I type it - he's hilarious! More on that later...

You may remember the fiasco we had at the fair last year! We had tickets to see Heart & Journey & traffic was SO bad we didn't walk into Freedom Hall until Heart was singing their last song & I.was.pissed!

Sooo in an effort to not have me have a stroke again, I told the other couple we went with that we needed to leave around 4 ish to go get dinner & then head over to the fair. Well, Denise wanted to go a bit earlier to walk around first since they had a sitter & were gonna be kid-free. I said no problemo so off we went....

Now, I have never been to a state fair. Sure, I've been to our local county fair (& it sucks out loud by the way...) but I was a lot younger & had a lot different priorities. Ya know-walking around looking pretty, trying to find cute boys... important stuff.... So we walked into the door & as far as my eyes could see were cages. With birds in them. All kinds of birds. Big birds. Little birds. Chickens. Hens. Roosters & other birds I had no clue what they were. I was like, "mmmmm kay? Birds, huh?"

After we walked outta the bird wing, I was greeted by this guy:

And I was like, "What the heck is going on here? What's with all these animals? Is this all the fair is?" And B-rad so lovingly says to me, "You moron, what did you think it was? IT'S THE FAIR!" And I told him I thought there would be booths & stuff....

Then I turned around & saw cows:
And I was like, "Oooh, cool - Cows! Like right here beside me. Can they kick me?!" And then we walked through the cow wing. It was cooler than the bird wing because the cows were like really close to you (they were tied to fences & stuff) & then I saw some being milked. And my farming hubby explained to me that, "no matter where these cows go, they gotta be milked everyday. They can't wait!" We also saw some people who had those 'Easy up' tents set up with air mattresses & stuff in them because that's where they stay while their animals are at the fair. My question was, "How do they take a shower!?"

So we continued on our big adventure. As we walked outta the fair & expo center into Freedom Hall, we saw a celebrity! Does anyone remember when Extreme Makeover:Home Edition came to Louisville & rebuilt the house? It was for a young man who is blind & in a wheelchair. His name is Patrick. I think maybe his last name is Hughes? He played trumpet in U of L's marching band & his dad went to all his band competitions & pushed him in the wheelchair. He was there playing the piano & singing!
I was still wondering where the heck the booths are in this place. And then I found 'em. Ahhhhh, purses.....

And it was like an alien had possessed my body. I went crazy spending money! I never do that! I bought a Christmas present, a new toe ring & this little beauty right here: It was a little pricey so I tried to talk the chick down but she wouldn't budge. Hmph.... the purse IS real leather though so I can't complain too much. I did find something else I wanted in her booth for a gift so I asked what she'd charge for the gift if I bought the purse. She cut me a little deal & I was happy! Listen, I know I have a problem. Admitting it is the first step...I'm just not sure what the second step is?!

Perhaps the best part? B-rad did not get to buy not one.single.solitary.thing. That's because I had spent all the cash we had... (plus he had just spent $300 buying new tires for the motorcycle that day so he really couldn't say much...)

Ok-back to Jeff Dunham....

We were promptly in our seats by 7:45 & the show started at 8:00! Perfect!

Denise & I before the show! I like Denise because she laughs at everything I say. She even told her hubby, "I like Jaime. The more we hang out with her, the more I act like her!" Flattery will get you everywhere...
Again, Jeff Dunham is a comedian AND a ventriloquist. He has these puppets that he has conversations with. And I swear you can't tell that he's even talking when he's doing the 'puppets' voice. The first guy is Walter. He's an old, grumpy man. He hates his wife & pretty much all living creatures.

The next one is my favorite. It's Achmed, the dead terrorist. Not only does he move their mouths, he has controls for their eyes & eyebrows for the facial expressions. Achmed says things like, "Greetings, Infidels" & the title at the top: "SILENCE! I keel you!" He's a terrorist & suicide bomber, get it?

The last one is Peanut. He's like a little crazy dude who really needs to be sedated. When he's talking to Peanut he gets going SO fast back & forth it's amazing how he does it. He can also throw his voice because every so often during their chats, you would hear Walter make a wise crack from down in his case.

He introduced a new puppet too. Her name is Diana. Jeff is in the new Steve Carrell, Paul Rudd movie, "Dinner with Schmucks". He plays a character at a dinner party whose wife is a dummy. Big stretch... Since he had to develop the puppet & character for the movie, he owns the rights to it & can introduce her into his act. We weren't that impressed with her. It doesn't help that he's a dude trying to to a chicks voice....

All in all, it was a great night. Got some new stuff, had a ton of laughs (before & during) the show with old friends & got to see a good show-the whole, entire show... If you ever see any of Jeff Dunham's episodes on Comedy Central, you really should try to catch it. He really his very talented & funny & of course, my descriptions do him NO justice!

Heaven thy name is Hughes net

We all know how I've cried & boo hoo'd and bitched & moaned over & over & over again about our sucky, horrible internet service.

Here's the story: We had a laptop access card from AT&T for unlimited data each month. We could do as much surfing as we wanted. It was on our cell phone bill as another phone line for $60 bucks a month. For those that don't know, AT&T's big thing is "3G". That's their super fast internet service for the cell phones. However....out here in a little ole 112 acre field 5 miles off the highway - there is no 3G. Which means basically we've had glorified dial up. And the glorified dial up has been getting worse & worse. Either that or we've been getting progressively more impatient. (Hmph, nope, not me!)

I called AT&T about when our contract was going to be up - 10 months. 10 long months of not being able to pull up a freakin' photo album on facebook! Oh, the humanity! And it was going to cost $100 big ones to get outta the contract. I also asked him how much 'mb' we used each month. He said, "Well, looks like you used to use between 1 & 3 gig each month. Now you're down to 500 mb." And I said, "Ya wanna know why? Because the service SUCKS!"

So I did something that I would normally never do. I decided to cancel my contract early. I know, I know...it's totally unlike me. But follow my thought process. 10 months left at $60 bucks a month = $600. $600 for something I can't even use. $600 for something that makes me wanna blow my brains out any time I have to use it. $600 is a lotta moolah for nothin'....

I had been doing research about another internet provider for people in the sticks. A co-worker AND one of our neighbors have it & they seem to love it. Hhhmmm, decisions, decisions. So I took a leap of faith. I called Hughes net & they were there the next day to hook.us.up.

Now, let me explain. It's a satellite internet service thingie. They install a dish like we have with our satellite tv. And then by magic (or an act of God...), it brings high-speed internet into a home that is a virgin to such things. But here's the bad part. This dish is on a tri-pod mounted to our roof. And it's kinda big. And when I pull in the driveway - this is what I have to see.... sigh...

I'm not gonna lie, I was NOT happy with the size of the dish nor the mounting on the roof.

But what I DO like? HIGH SPEED INTERNET BABY! Oh my word, my life has changed forever. I can upload pics to facebook in less than 5 seconds. I uploaded the 2 pics for this post in like 30 seconds. And I didn't even have to re-size them! This is like lightning fast compared to what I had to do before. Be.still.my.heart!

So far I'm happy with my decision to cancel the contract with AT&T. I hate spending that extra $100 for 'nothing', but I was going to get 'nothing' for $600 for the next 10 months.

However, you have to take the good with the bad. And this is what I find ironic about country living...It cost $400 (gulp) to have the dish installed. Before you fall outta your seat - know this... I will be eligible for a $200 rebate after I have the service for 30 days. So that helps. (I wonder if any of you city slickers had to pay $400 to have your verizon or insight or whatever to be installed? Sigh...) The package we chose costs $60/month like we were paying before...but there's a catch. We can only download 200 mb per DAY. We can upload as much as we want. Now, for those of you who don't know about all this mb & gig stuff - I will attempt to explain...

Mb stands for 'mega-bytes'. That's the 'unit' of measurement (if you will) for things that are downloaded from the web. A gb is a giga-byte. It takes approximately 1000 mb to make 1 gb. Kinda like converting ounces to cups or whatever. (Who am I to make cooking analogies, really?!) Anyway-we can only download 200mb per any 24 hour period. Which for most casual surfing is perfectly fine. We have a 'download allowance' bar that shows us how much we've used & how many hours we have until it re-sets.

So far, I'm super happy with the service. I am able to update my Premier software here at home which I was NEVER able to do before. Uploading is free so I can upload pics to facebook & the dog & pony show & it doesn't take away from our daily allowance. What's also awesome is that from 2am-7am downloading is FREE. For example, updating iTunes will suck up a lotta mb's. Sooooo when B-rad gets up at 4:30am, he can start the download & when I get up at 6:30, I can make sure it's done before the 7:00 cut off!

Dear blogger I hate you...

I've got a story to tell. However, blogger has decided to be a teenage girl & give me attitude. Hmph....

I can't center my text NOR upload pics. Oh, the humanity!

Armaggedon is upon us.......

Wonder what we did this weekend?

If you guessed the lake - you would be correct-a-mundo! Sigh.... I do enjoy going to the lake....but I also enjoy laying on my couch & watching my dvr all weekend. I can't wait until harvest....then I will gripe about B-rad having no time for me. It's a vicious cycle...

So our friends, Brian & Shauna (aka the Groves'), from the motorcycle gang went with us again. Friday night, it was just us 4. Cole had left his Uno Attack game in Stan & Ann's houseboat & the Groves' had never played. However, the cards IN Uno Attack were not Uno Attack cards. They were regular Uno cards. So we're flexible & all & we decided to play regular Uno. After we dealt the cards & started playing - we noticed it seemed like we were missing cards. So B-rad went over to Brian & Lora's boat to find either the Uno Attack cards or the rest of the regular Uno cards. They also had Yahtzee so I said, "maybe we'll try that!" B-rad opened the Yahtzee box & guess what we found? All the Draw 2's & Wild Draw 4's from regular Uno. That little punk Cole had hidden those cards! Now-you may be saying, "C'mon, Jaime Mac - how do you know it was Cole? He's just a sweet little 8 year old boy that wears cute little glasses! Did you check for prints or DNA?!" Uhm no I didn't, but I'll tell ya how I know it was him...

Last weekend, Lora & I played Sorry with him. And boy were we 'sorry' we did. He makes up his own rules! We tried looking through the box for the correct rules because we KNEW he was making stuff up. We found some directions, but they were in Espanol. The English directions had miraculously disappeared.... He had also stated at the start of the game that, "He was gonna win!"...and he did...coincidence? I think not...

Ok-so Saturday morning us 4 went out on our ski boat & Shauna took pics since I had to drive the boat. (Remember Shauna is a professional fancy schmancy camera picture taker?!) I hate driving the boat. It makes me super nervous because I don't know the rules. I mean, there's no lines or anything in the water. It's like cardinal law out there!. I did get in trouble because when I was pulling B-rad I went between a boat & the shore & apparently you're not supposed to do that. Hmph...who knew?

Anyways-Shauna says that I should not tell people that she took the pictures. They're on my camera, so they're my pics. I say tsk, tsk...that's not how I roll. So Shauna took the pic of B-rad!Shauna's also an adrenaline junkie. She'll.try.anything! And she won't stop until she gets it! Last time they came with us, she learned the knee board. This time her goal was to wakeboard! She caught on fairly quickly. Then she wanted to jump...just once... Sheesh! She never did jump...except for the 20' cliff she jumped off of with Cole & Brady...

After getting the wakeboard she decided to work on her knee board skillz again.

She makes the funniest faces!
And crashing is pretty funny too!

Brian never got the knee board down last time so he tried it again this weekend. And this time he got it! (In the spirit of full disclosure, Brian worked & worked on wakeboarding Saturday morning & night & never got it. On Sunday afternoon- he finally got up on the wakeboard. And I am a loser & didn't have my camera... read below to find out why... Control yourselves, nothing bad happened to my fancy schmancy camera...)

OK-so Saturday afternoon Brian, Lora & Cole got there. They got there just as we all were laying down for a nap. (I just wanted a nap - the Groves' were worn out from skiing. Whatever - details schmetails!) After nap time, it was raining so we all just sat & stared at each other. After it quit raining - we all went out in the boat again. There were 6 adults & 1 8 year old game fixer in the boat so I didn't take the camera. I didn't want it or myself to be in the way. Every seat was full. Which is perfectly fine... I just didn't wanna have to worry about my fancy schmancy camera getting wet or falling into the lake or something like that.

Derik decided to come to the lake for his birthday & he brought Brady with him. They got there as we were coming in from skiing Saturday evening. Lora had a cake for Derik & we all sang Happy Birthday after dinner!

I've told ya'll about how Derik fishes. Just fishes. Only fishes. That's it. This weekend was no exception. However, in a generous act from the Birthday Gods - Derik caught a fish. A big fish. A big, pregnant fish. And I mean no disrespect to any of my loyal blog stalkers who are preggo,or have ever been preggo, but it was kinda gross. I have never seen a preggo fish... Now - I know the pic is blurry. Allow me to explain. When they sound the alarm that, 'DERIK CAUGHT A FISH!' we all come running. So I ran inside & grabbed the camera & ran back outside. I took like 3 pictures. And they were all blurry. And I couldn't figure out what the heck was wrong with the camera. So I shoved it over to Shauna. "Shauna! My camera is taking blurry pics! Fix it!" I mean -SHE'S the professional after all! She took a blurry pic too & Derik really needed to get that fish back in the water so we gave up. We went back inside the houseboat. Which was about 20 degrees below zero. It was so cold that there was condensation on the windows. Well, uhm, er it was definately NOT 20 degrees below zero outside. And when I snatched the camera & ran - the lense fogged up. So the poor auto focus wouldn't work. And I took blurry pics of Derik's fish. Sheesh... rookie mistake...

We went out to ski again on Sunday. But there was no room for Brady. (Don't forget, Derik doesn't go...he was fishing...) So Brady took out the jet ski to just follow behind us. He's only 13 (& will be 14 in 2 weeks...) but he took a class on-line to be able to drive the jet ski. He probably knows the boating laws better than me! Hmph... I could tell he was getting bored from just following us in the boat. So I said, "Brady-are you bored?" And he said, "Yeah..." I said, "Wanna take me for a ride?!" Gulp... What had I done?

I gave him 3 instructions. #1- do NOT throw me off. #2- do NOT throw me off. #3-Lora - tell your son to NOT throw me off! And he didn't... he didn't even really go too fast or jump too high. We had our moments, but I just screamed in his ear...I'm sure that helped...

k

Happy 18th birthday, Derik!

Our oldest nephew, Derik, turned the big 1-8 on Saturday! And Erin & the girls had come down for a quick visit so before we left for the lake Friday night, so we stopped by Brian & Lora's to visit everyone.

Poor Payton was sitting in the high chair jabbering up a storm. No one would pay any attention to her. Sigh...Brady said when we walked to the door Madelyn said, "Jaime Jaime Jaime!" Awwwwww...
Derik's an independent guy - ya know, he's 18 & all now. He's an adult! Gulp... And I didn't know if he was going to be coming to the lake Saturday with the rest of the fam. So I asked him, "Hey-do you want your birthday present now or wait to see if you come to the lake?" Dumb question - I knew the answer. He wanted it NOW!

He seemed pretty excited about the iTunes gift cards we got him.

My super cool iPhone has an option when you're taking a pic, you can push a button & somehow it magically turns the camera lense backwards to display your image on the screen. It essentially revolutionizes the self portrait... if you can get it right...

1st attempt: It took a minute to get my bearings! But I finally got it! Happy Birthday, Derik!