My life is officially over

So I've had this 'spot' on my middle finger for a few years.  Whenever I would wear a ring on my right hand, it would break out with a rash or bumps & the skin would crack open (lovely) so I figured I was allergic to nickel & just wrote it off that that was the cause. Beauty is pain, right?!

HOWEVER, the rash started to spread up onto my hand.  

THEN it spread to my left hand.  When we were in Vegas in was so bad I could hardly stand it.  So I called a dermatologist.  She decided that I was definitely having a SEVERE allergic reaction to something & she needed to do a 'patch test' to determine what it was.

Here's a little history on me:  I'm allergic to almost everything in the air.  Grass, pollen, mold, dust, cats, dogs...I know other people suffer with allergies too, however my allergies were so severe that I would get allergy symptoms & then get sick.  Like bronchitis sick.  Butterfly & I had to allergy shots when we were little & eventually we stopped them.  (You only do a rotation for so long & you're done.)  As an adult my doctor suggested getting tested again.... so I did.  The results showed I was allergic to all kinds of stuff & I started shots again probably 7 years ago. I'm done with my rotation & the doctor says it should last me the rest of my life.  I'm not sick hardly at all now & I don't suffer much from what's in the air when others are suffering. 

I don't know if you know what they do to you when they test your for 'regular' allergies, but they take a sharp object & 'scratch' your back with all kinds of irritants.  You have to sit for like 10 minutes to see what you have a 'reaction' too...meaning what makes you itch!  The doctor comes in & looks at the bumps (they look like mosquito bites) & if they're over a certain size, they consider you allergic to THAT.  

Patch testing for skin allergies is similar...but much more miserable.  You have around 80 discs full of creams taped to your back for 2 days.  You can't shower...for 2 days.  You can't really move...for 2 days... When you DO move, you feel your skin pull...for 2 days.  You can't really sleep...for 2 days.  You can't scratch...for 2 days.  You can't touch your back...for 2 days.  Definition of misery...

After the 2 miserable days, you go back to the doctor.  They make an outline (in Sharpie) on your back where the patches were.   The doctor reads the bumps to see what you're allergic to.  They ruin your life give you the preliminary results & educate you on those things.  You CAN shower after this, HOWEVER - you can't scrub your back...you can let water run down your back, but you can't let the water beat on your back...you still can't scratch.  Because you gotta go back the very next day.   

The chemicals on the discs are being absorbed by your body while they're on your back.  You have to go back the next day to see if anything else shows up.  And yes, I had more stuff show up.  (I'm getting to that part, promise...)

After this appointment, your back is your own again.  You can let water beat you until your back is red...you can try to scrub all the sharpie off...YOU CAN SCRATCH.  Thank you, Lord.

These pics are from Saturday...3 days after they took my patches off.  I'm a scratching machine, people.  (yes I know I still have sharpie on my back...it's a bitch to get off!)

So what am I allergic too you might be wondering?  Oh, that's the very, VERY best part.  The day they took my patches off, this is what I was hit with:  nickel.  Like I said - I've known this forever.  I cannot wear 'cheap' earrings or my ears itch horribly.  I also know that ALL jewelry is made of nickel (because it is one of the strongest metals) but most are coated with something else. There are lots of other metals I'm allergic too including cobalt & palladium.  Does anyone know what Palladium is used for?  I DO!  I DO!  It's commonly used in the coating on white gold.  UHM....shit...guess whose wedding ring is white gold??? 

So to recap, I'm allergic to jewelry.  JEWELRY, PEOPLE....

Next was something fun called balsam.  I'v never heard of it so it shouldn't be a big deal, right?  UHM WRONG.  VERY VERY WRONG.  It's a chemical found in fragrance.  Is anyone else freaking the hell out like I was?!  No... just me?  Mmmmm kay... 

If the word fragrance is in the label...I cannot use it.  This calls for major cuss words people.  Like seriously.  

I'm a girl...we like to look pretty & SMELL pretty.  I told the nurse, "You're cutting me off at the knees!"  After my stupid 'education' session she asked, "Do you have any questions?"  I said, "Are you going to tell me anything else to ruin my life?!"   I am allergic to everything that makes me a GIRL.

Needless to say, I was really upset when I left there.  I'm still upset about it, but now I'm trying to educate myself on what I can & can't use.  I use Clinique 'Happy' perfume.  I love that shit.  I get so many compliments on how I smell so good & well, I love compliments.  I was devastated that I would not be able to use that perfume anymore.  That very afternoon I started to scour the internet to see if Clinique made a 'fragrance' free version...of a uhm, er, uh fragrance?!

(When you hear fragrance, you think 'smell', right?  Yep, me too.  However that's not always the case I've learned...)

So I pull up Clinique's website & to my complete joy, it says right at the top "Allergy tested, 100% Fragrance Free".  Thank you 6 lb 5 oz baby Jesus.  I can still smell like 'Happy'.  I nearly cried.

That night I went home & had to read all the labels on ALL my stuff.  EVERYTHING I OWN HAS FRAGRANCE IN IT.  I have had to buy:  detergent, fabric softener, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, hand & body soaps & I'm still on the hunt for hair styling products with no fragrance.  I had to buy much of it online as normal stores don't carry it.  Even if it says for sensitive skin, some products still have fragrance.  This weekend I started to wash everything we own in 'fragrance free' detergent.  It's clear & smells like nothing....very weird...

When I went back to the doctor the day after the patch removal, I did not think there was anything else they could hit me with...I was mistaken.  I am also allergic to Gold (like the real thing) & another chemical that goes along with fragrance called, 'methyldibromo glutaronitrile'.  Even if a product doesn't contain fragrance, I have to look for those big ass words.  I can't possibly remember all that so I just remember 'bromo'....

What's next for poor, sad, nothing to live for, allergic to being a girl Jaime Mac?   For the next 6 weeks, I can wear NO jewelry. I can wear nothing that has fragrance in it. I cannot use candles, Scentsy wax thingies or air fresheners.  I AM allowed to wear small, post earrings so my holes don't close, but I have to either buy platinum or sterling silver AND I have to wash my hands after I put them in. (With fragrance free soap, of course!)  I also have to be mindful to not 'play' with my earrings & then touch another part of my body.  Hmph.   (I am currently on the prowl for a large bubble to live in if anyone knows where I can get one?!)  

After the 6 weeks, I go back to the doctor & then she will allow me to 're-introduce' one thing at a time.  Example: I can start using my awesome fragrance filled shampoo for one week.  Not conditioner too, only shampoo to see how I do.  If I'm ok, the next week I can use my awesome shampoo and add my big ass diamond wedding ring (priorities, people...) & so on until we find which 'thing' makes me break out.  

It's torture, truly...

Disclaimer:  I did ask the doctor how I would avoid fragrances when I wash my hands at a friends house or public restroom because I'm sure THEIR soap will have fragrance.  She explained, "You must cut them out totally at home but no, you can't help using them outside your environment.  Just try to limit them the best you can."  Great.

 Since my wedding ring that I love more than my husband is not allowed on my hand for at least 6 weeks...

I put it in a freaking ziploc baggie in our safe.... I mean, really...??  OH THE HUMANITY.

Let me say that I fully realize this is NOT that big of a deal in the scheme of things.  There are tons of people suffering from WAY worse than not being able to use or wear 'things' that bring them joy & happiness & give them a reason to wake up every morning.  It's not like I have a fatal disease or anything.  This is just the worst thing to ever happen to me & I like to be dramatic... (But I dare you to find something in your home that you use on your hair or body that doesn't contain fragrance.  I DARE YOU.  And if ya do, let me know what it is! The products I had to buy are seriously ghetto, people.  I wouldn't even use the shampoo on a dog.  UGH.  I still need help finding volumizing mousse & something to protect my hair from the flat iron!)

B-rad had some encouraging words & reminded me just why I love him.  He said, "Well - it could be worse - you could be allergic to Reese cups."  So true...