A town under siege

If ya'll hadn't ever heard of good 'old Palmyra, Indiana before - surely you know it now from the news! Our little town is drowning from the recent torrential rains. And while I knew we were getting a lot of rain & there were lots of places filling with water, I never realized just how bad it was going to become...(& by that I mean how it was going to affect me....)

Tuesday morning the water was over the highway in front of work. I had to drive through this. It was kinda deep, but you could still see the lines of the road. Mom called around noon & said that the water was rushing over the road near their house. So I went over to take pictures! This is the road that leads to the town cemetary. The water had been filling up in the large, very deep field next to this road. It could finally take no more & started to pour over like Niagra Falls. It ran from the road through another girls yard & then behind moms lots behind their house. It was actually running when I was taking pictures. It looked like a creek!

THEN a news van pulled into our parking lot at work. Lora & I were very excited. They sat in the van for-EVER & finally some guy got out. Lora was like, "It's that guy...it's that guy!" I looked & said, "OMG! It's Joe Arnold!" We immediately RAN from our perch at the window to get away from him!
He came inside the store & chatted for a minute & asked if they could park the van there. We.are.big.time. It was also around this time we heard the town had put the kabash on using any sewer. UHM, no flushing, no draining... nothin'.

They left for a bit & then came back. And then...the antenna mast started going up towards the heavens. And it was then we knew... we.were.gonna.be.on.the.freakin'.news.

You must understand. We have no excitement here. We come to work, we suffer for 8 hours & we leave. This was a major shake up in our normal mundane day. They sat in our lot for like 2 hours. The camera man took some shots of people driving through the water. Then Joe went out with that microphone. We couldn't figure out if he was going to interview people driving through or what? Nope, turns out he held the microphone down to get audio of the water going 'swissssssh'. Like I said - BIG.TIME.

As the masses left at 5:00, they were setting up for a live shot. I texted B-rad & said, "DVR THE 5, 5:30 & 6 NEWS! CHANNEL 11 IS IN OUR PARKING LOT!"

So here's the deal. B-rad & I live on the out-skirts of Palmyra. We are also NOT on the towns water nor sewer. We have a well that we get water from & we have a big concrete tank thingie buried in our backyard for our...sewer. Sounds gross, I know...but that's what we have. So we were not affected at home by this travesty. Jeremy came over & took a shower last night because he does live in town. I also noticed on my way home last night that there were port-a-potties strategically placed all over town for residents to use. This is the ONE time living in the country has actually paid off. Score 1 for the McAfee's!

At my place of employment we have about 32 employees. Of those 32, 6 are women. That's it... And none of the people in charge have vaginas. Only wee-wee's. So you can imagine their concern & attention to making sure that those with vaginas have proper facilities to use. I mean, Lora's had 4 babies....we're lucky she can even hold it for a few minutes! So the guys thought they'd be really funny & make us a place to use the potty. Hardy.har.har.

After we held it as long as we could, Lora & I got in my car & drove in to town (which is like a 30 second commute) to use some of the strategically placed port-a-potty. They were still fairly clean, but it's still a port-a-potty. Nas-ty.

Finally one of the people with wee-wee's started calling around to see if we could get a port-a-potty here. Well, uhm-they were all out being used. This is a small town where everyone knows everyone & the wee-wee man was able to get the town to bring us one of their strategically placed pots. And then they strategically placed it here. Toward the back of the property (as far away from the people with vaginas) as they could. In front of the lawn mower shop. Where you have to walk around 40,000 people with wee-wee's to go potty. Sigh. (Also notice they've stacked lawn mowers around it? NO RESPECT!) Since we can't wash our hands (no water down the drain, remember?!) this is becoming some really popular stuff! This is how we wash our hands now. Not the best thing in the world, but it's better than nothing.

Rumor has it that if people do not obey the state of emergency & continue to use their sewer, the town will shut the water off. (Uhm, my dad is like the president of the town board...I KNOW he's just crazy enough to do it. Don't push him...) So I am patiently waiting for the Army to come marching down the road. Ya know like in the movie Outbreak? 'Stay in your homes. Do not turn on your water. Do not flush your toilet or you will be taken out & shot!'

**UPDATE** At the urging of my co-workers, I called dad about an hour ago to find out what was going on. The sewer ban has been lifted, but they are asking us all to continue to conserve water. Oh, happy day! Peeing in water like God meant it to be!!!

Thanks for the memories...

This blog off is all about our most memorable moments. And if ya'll thought I'd only have one... tsk, tsk - you don't know me at.all. I have also included pictures of my memories because I am an over-achiever like that...

I had an idea of what I wanted to talk about-but after searching through hundreds of pictures, I found a couple of more things! And these are in no particular order. They're in order by the way I uploaded the pics!

Almost 1 year ago, myself, mom & Aunt Mary went to see Elvis at Graceland. That was something I had wanted to do for as long as I can remember. It's a really cool place that makes you feel like you're stepping back in time!

Hurricane Ike. Uhm, was this fall 2008? B-rad & I were at the houseboat...on the lake...when the hurricane came through. We came home to this sky.... And our electricity was out for 5 freakin' days. Bad...but memorable...My bff, Jenny, & I went to Florida for Spring Break in 1992. I was 16...she was 17. I had never been to Florida. Ever. I had never been on a plane. Ever. Jenny's moms boyfriend had those food thingies at fairs. They were working a fair in Florida & convinced my mother to put 2 teenage girls, un-supervised, on a plane for Florida. (I still can't believe she let us do it!)

We went to Disney & met Mickey!We burned the s*** out of ourselves on the beach because, 'we wanted to come home from Florida with a TAN!' I was in Marching Band all through high school & in the fall of 1992, the North Harrison Marching Cougars qualified for the STATE competition! This is a humungously big deal! We marched on the astro turf at the RCA Dome (Yes, that's how long ago it was----no Lucas Oil Stadium then..) I am on the top, right side of the heart in the curve. (It's also been so long ago that I don't remember exactly where I was!) UHM-I have seen Faith Hill in concert like 5 times. And I would do it 500 more! In 2007 we went all.the.way. to Cleveland, Ohio to see the Soul to Soul II tour. (Not to be confused with the regular ole Soul to Soul tour...we saw that one in Indy & Louisville. Don't judge me!)Who can forget mom & I watching Jer compete in the Louisville Ironman last fall? Super proud of the little brudder. I also learned that being a spectator required training all of its own! Start of the Kentucky State Fair. August 2009. Heart/Journey concert. SUPER excited...Then SUPER pissed when this is the traffic we were stuck in. For over an hour. We missed Heart. And I was mad. Hmph. We had seats on the floor & EVERYTHING! Some chick behind us offered to take our picture. And I think it is one of THE best pics of B-rad & I...e-ver. I guess that makes up for missing Heart? Uhm, yea, what-ever... During the summer of 2005 we went to Las Vegas. None of us had ever been there before! We took one whole day out & drove to the Grand Canyon! One of B-rad's 'must do's' was to fly over in a helicopter! So we splurged & did it! It was one of the coolest things I've ever done. Super scary, super expensive, but super cool! You can only see the Colorado River in the Canyon by air! The ice/winter storm of 2009. Don't forget we had had Hurricane Ike 4 months before this. And our power was out for 5 freakin' days.... The ice storm took us down for 7.freakin'.days. It was awful! It was even worse than Ike because it was soooo cold outside. We had to depend on kerosene for heat. But you can't have the kerosene going all day while you're not at home. Soooo, B-rad would get home around 4:00, the house was in the low 60's/high 50's. He would light the heater - it would warm up to the high 60's before bed. He would leave it lit for me to use in the mornings to heat water on to wash my face (oh, the humanity...) & then I would turn it off before I left. Sigh... there was never a sadder time than when the low, yellowish white glow it put off was snuffed out... (Except for when the loud purring engine of the generator was shut off...) We had a generator, but it can only run so many voltage thingies... and important stuff - like the Dish receiver. Duh. (No stove though. I had a PERFECT excuse to get outta cooking for those 7 days!) (No really, we have no water when the power is out because we have a well. And the well needs electric to pump the water up from the belly of the earth. You can't flush the toilets or run the water unless the generator is running. And that takes gas... B-rad would hook it up to ONLY the hot water heater to heat water for showers. It would use almost a whole tank of gas to do that. Then we'd un-hook the hot water heater, hook up the necessities we were running (including, but not limited to, the dish receiver...) & we'd take showers. Then I'd fill a stainless steel bowl with water to put on the kersone heater the next morning to heat up so we could brush our teeth & wash my face. It sucked.out.loud!!! But yea, we had no property damage...we had our health, blah, blah, blah...)

To this day I have total PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder...). When the power goes out, I cry & stomp around the house. I am convinced we are going to have to live like the Amish & then I break out in hives...

I hope you enjoyed my memories! Unconventional, I know...but did you expect any less?!

Dig deep into your memory banks...

Ok-stalkers, we're going to do another blog off!

This time we're gonna gossip about our most memorable moment(s). BUT... this cannot include meeting your spouse (or significant other) NOR birthin' your babies. (And anything remotely related to the former...getting engaged, finding out you were preggo... blah, blah, blah.)

Do you have just one moment that is seared into your brain forever? Or do you have 2 or 3 that had an impact good (or bad) on your life? (You are allowed to talk about more than one if need be.)

Lets have our homework done by Thursday, April 28th!

(One of) B-rad's happy places...

On Saturday, B-rad & I went on a road trip - a very rainy road trip! We had to travel to Boonville, IN to get some parts for the combine. 'Where in the heck is Boonville?!', you may exclaim? Well, it's one & half hours from our house-that's where the heck it is! It is west of Tell City & Ferdinand (which is near Holiday World...). It was also made famous when David Camm's 3rd(?) trial was held at their courthouse (Warrick County...)

Anywho...I digress... We (B-rad) hooked up the trailer to the truck & headed west. Actually, it wasn't that simple. It was pouring rain when we got into the truck, plus B-rad needed diesel. We had to stop at 3 gas stations before finally finding one where the credit card machine worked. (The lines must've been water-logged?) But this also caused B-rad to act like a psycho. It was hilarious hearing him yell at the gas stations, other motorists & just the world in general. That is SOOOO not him. Me - Yes! Him - not so much...

Ok-I digressed again. The reason for our trip: THIS is what B-rad's brother, Brian, did to the combine... Look closely at where the front window SHOULD be. See the sharp, jaggedy, triangular pieces hanging from the top? He got in the combine, started it up, it was in 'forward' gear & it took off & ran into the boom of the sprayer. Uh, yeah - it shattered the windshield & broke the skirting thingie underneaath that says 'Massey Ferguson'. Luckily, he wasn't hurt. Accidents happen. S*** happens that we didn't mean to have happen. That's why they're called accidents. You say you're sorry - you screwed up & move on. But then he had nerve. Real nerve. To blame a poor, innocent child for putting the combine in gear. Can you imagine this sweet little boy doing such an awful thing?!

He said that 'one of the kids must've gotten into the combine & was playing around & put it in forward'. To that I say: #1-I'm SOOOO glad it wasn't one of my non-kids (or B-rad...)!

#2- your kids were at the barn around all that big equipment & you weren't watching them?

& #3-shouldn't you check these things before you start the machine?

Can you believe he didn't ask me what I thought? Hmph.

Ok-so we headed out on our rainy, road-trip to the Massey Ferguson dealer. And I had forgotten how much B-rad loves coming here. Until we saw this:

and this... And when his head started spinning like Linda Blair in the Exorcist - it hit me. Blog.time. We usually drive across the street to the combine 'graveyard' to look at them. But this time we couldn't because of the trailer & the rain. How sad...B-rad's a multi tasker and since he could spin his head around AND load glass...

He caught sight of this beauty. It's a corn head. It's a lotta farming mumbo-jumbo you guys don't care about...but I'm gonna tell you anyway. The head is yellow because it technically goes on another brand of Agco combine. The dealership got a 'good deal' on them. And it just so happens it would fit our combine too. (You can easily change the yellow to red for a small fee of around $3000. I say let's not be color blind. Lets have a red machine & yellow head. It'll give it character...) Instead of the pointy row thingies being metal like the head now, they're some kind of 'poly'. I don't really know why that's better...but apparently it is because that's what everyone is going to now. It also has several updated features that allows less corn to fall out of the head.

Corn falling out = less moo-lah. The 'good deal' cost of this head is 'around $41,000'. Our head now has been around since 2000. It's 11 years old & has seen better days... (We didn't buy the yellow one or anything. B-rad just got a little misty eyed when he saw it. We took pictures & sent them to Brian too...) B-rad tried to figure out how to get everything tied down & secured.

And since I know (some) of you are nosey like me, & may wanna know what the going rate for glass smashed to smithareens on a combine & a shield thingie are going for, I will share with you.... (Again, soooo glad not the fault of one of my non-kids or B-rad...but in the spirit of full disclosure - B-rad DOES break his fair share of stuff. This time he was just in the clear!)

Then it was time to leave. Tear. So we took the slow, sad drive out of their lot...

But no worries, there was more super cool farming stuff to look out on the drive out...

Is it just me or are you suppose to look FORWARD when you drive?

A birthday party where the surprise was on me.

One of the guys from the motorcycle gang had a birthday party Sunday evening at 4. That was wayyy too early for B-rad to come home from the farm, so we left a couple hours later & as always, were fashionably late... I was kinda sad because my buddy, Shauna, wasn't going to be able to come. It was her daughter's weekend with her dad & she was gonna have to drive to Tell City Sunday evening to pick her up. She had texted me earlier in the day to 'have fun at the party without her' & I texted her back that kids were a drag, she was abandoning me, blah, blah, blah.

B-rad decided he wanted to ride the motorcycle. Uhm-when you're on the motorcycle you can't really be worried about lookin' pretty. It's all about safety. I can't take my purse with all my girly crap. (But I DO have a little pouch thingie I use for my i d, lip stuff & eye drops...a girls got her necessities!) I can't wear earrings because my helmet smooshes them against my head. (But no worries, the earring get stored in the pouch thingie & go in my ears when I reach my destination.) I can't put my hair in a pony tail because the pony tail holder smashes against my head when my helmet is on. (Pony tail holder also goes in pouch thingie...) I don't wear nice clothes because the exhaust from the bike saturates its stinkiness into my clothes. Jeans & tennis shoes are also a must.

So we get to the party & we are getting off the bike & everyone is staring at us. UH ok? My hair looks like crap plus I'm working on taking off all my protective gear & I was like, "Why is everyone staring at us?!?!" I take my helmet off first (so I can take out my ipod ear-buds & hear if anyone is talking about me...) then the gloves & jacket come off. I try to kinda straighten up my hair. And everyone is still staring. I wanted to say, "Take a picture, it'll last longer...."

Then I look over. And there was Shauna grinning at me. She was standing behind one of the guys staring. Apparently she had told them all that she had decided to come but she wanted to surprise me. And they were all in on her little joke. Hmph.

(When I saw her, I just screamed, 'YOU CAME!', & ran over & hugged her. It was all very juvenile...) Have I mentioned I don't like surprises?!

Rhonda, myself & miss sassy surprises, Shauna...

The princess & the butterfly relaxing in the yard...I'm getting to that... (Ginmommy-get ready...there are lotsa pics of the little brother just.for.you...)

B-rad & I The birthday boy, Railing,& Jer.

Of course, birthday posts aren't complete without shots of people on their cell phones. First up-B-rad...

Jeremy had done the Shelbyville triathalon that morning & I had seen pics of him on facebook. I was asking him about them but he hadn't seen them yet. He got on HIS phone to see the pics. See that smile?... Attention whore I tell ya....

These are the pics from that mornings race...

I call this one, 'the one with the belly shirt'.

Shauna & Brian brought their little boy, Dylan. He just turned 3 & he's super cute. He had a sword he was playing with. He had Shauna put it down the back of his shirt & posed for a pic.

All Samurai's drink from sippy cups, right?

Dylan really likes B-rad. (All kids do...he's on their level...) Dylan was beating the crap outta B-rad with that sword.

And of course, B-rad plays along...

Jer instructed Dylan on the proper use of a sword to go for the kill.

Here they are again...the princess & the butterfly. I call B-rad a princess all.the.time because, well, he's a princess. I dubbed Jer the social butterfly because he's an attention whore & you just can't call him that in mixed company (well, I totally would...but sometimes I like to pretend my mother taught me manners...) Someone had commented on his racing pics that his new 'outfit?' looked good & he said, "I make everything I wear look good..." so I told Rhonda that he was just the prettiest little social butterfly in all the land.

The buttefly was eating a piece of celery & stood over the princesses shoulder & let the juice & his spit run onto her/his(?) shirt. Uh-gross.... See the guy behind them? Doesn't his face totally say, "What the hell is wrong with these guys?!"

Miss sassy surprises herself was wrapped up in her phone too... What I didn't realize is that she was texting me. Too bad no one got a pic of that...