In which I bore you about my driveway

 It's no secret this winter has been rough.  Our driveway is a multiple layered cluster f*** when it comes to snow & ice.  It's got a sharp curve near the garage so you can't get any speed up before you have to go around it.  It's on the north side of a hill which means it gets NO sunlight. (& I only know that because B-rad went on a Facebook rant about it.)

 It also has a gradual incline that gets pretty steep at the very end so it's hard to get out unless you have 4 wheel drive or a large car...

Which I do not.  I have a little, light car that lets me get around 30 mpg - but does NOT allow me to get out of the driveway.  

  I've always had 4 wheel drive suv's until I got my Cruze last year.  Last year wasn't too bad with snow so I really had no trouble.  But this year - when I tell you there was fighting & thrashing & gnawing of teeth for me to get B-rad to get the tractor & grade the snow off our driveway-I am not being dramatic.  It was bad, people.

Me: "We have hundreds of thousand of dollars of f***ing equipment at the barn but NOOOOO none of it can help me??  Really??"

B-rad:  "The John Deere is in Washington County!" (It is a tractor that has a cab on it.  Do you think I cared if he froze to death whilst grading?  Nope...)

B-rad:  "The 2590 has an oil leak."  (Do you think I cared if he froze to death to go over to the barn to fix said oil leak? Nope.)

B-rad:  "The 260 is too big for the blade."  

So you get the picture - it was always something.

  

When I was on vacation in December, I had a doctors appointment one day but couldn't get out of the driveway.  Luckily our nephew, Brady, was off school & he came & got me & let me drive his car.  (Side note - I am a car snob.  Full fledged.  His car is like a 1992 Ford contour.  He's a 17 year old kid so you can imagine what the inside looked like.  It has no power ANYTHING & isn't in the best shape.   I couldn't get the driver door open.  I said, "Brady - the door is locked."   He said, "Oh.  No - you have to 'push & pull up against' the driver side door to get it open."  Seriously? [& while I am eternally grateful he let me drive it- you know I'm gonna bitch about it.   CAR SNOB.] 

 B-rad delegated the first driveway clean off to poor Brady.  He's such a good kid - but don't worry - he got paid... (Notice he is NOT in a tractor w/ a cab...No one was worried about him freezing to death.  But in the spirit of full disclosure - I could be heard yelling from inside my toasty warm house, "BRADY - IF YOU GET COLD, COME IN & WARM UP!  I DON'T WANT YOU TO FREEZE TO DEATH."  

Do you think I would've told B-rad that?   I'll let everyone answer silently to themselves...)

Not only did the driveway get screwed up, but the yard did too.  On one of my attempts to get out of the driveway - I got stuck.  I tell ya - it's a helpless feeling.  When B-rad came home to pull it out HE got stuck in the yard.  It wasn't pretty people...he was ma-ad.

There were several times when we had over-night snows that B-rad couldn't clean it off before he left for work. (He had to leave for work then at an un-Godly hour - like 4:30am or something.  & while I am a LOT of things - forcing him against his will asking him super nicely to clean the driveway before he left for work was an uber bitch move that even I wasn't willing to pull.)  I was a good little soldier & tried to get out each & every time...  And when I couldn't, lucky for B-rad me, our sister in law not only lives 2 minutes from us & passes the house every morning on her way to work, but we also work at the same place. Super convenient for her to stop on the road, let me trek my happy ass up the driveway through the snow &amp frigid cold; & hop into her car. 

(You may be wondering - 'ok, princess - why don't you park your car on the side of the road & walk to it so you can get out?'  That's a GREAT question!  I TOTALLY wanted to do that, but B-rad wouldn't allow it.  Our house is built on ground that kind of 'falls away' so our house is like below road level.  It's hard to explain, but leaving my car half on the road & half in our yard isn't a good option.  The ground slopes too much & is very steep... & I still wouldn't have been able to get out...)

Because of the multiple scrapings, we have like no gravel left.  Our driveway is a horrible muddy mess.  (See the ruts in the yard?)

And because of all the melting & rain it's all soft & squishy so when B-rad drives his big ass truck in, it does this...

I even spotted a place on the deck supports where the wood was splintered.  B-rad & his buddy, Brian, were shooting their bows one day & I was like, "what happened there?"  Brian was the one who said, "I bet it was a tractor tire - it looks right at that level."  

B-rad immediately penned that one on Brady.  

Magically one day a HUGE pile of gravel appeared in the field next to the house.  And I was all like, "Oh wow, my hubby is THE best!  He got new gravel for the driveway!"

Then another day a dozer appeared.  And I thought, "Huh.  I've never seen him put gravel on the driveway with a dozer??..."  And guess what?  It didn't happen that day either.  The HUGE pile of gravel was to fill sink holes in the field.  WHAT.EVER.

(UHM, I said I was gonna bore you about my driveway in the TITLE.  I can't help you read the whole thing & hoped thought there may be more to it than that.  Nope, just boring driveway stuff.)