Apparently falling (at my age) can be dangerous

First - I love it when ya'll revolt.  My last post about what I refer to my hubby as on the blog got an overwhelming, "Nu uh, we don't like it" vote from you.  SO-you speak, I listen & I will continue to call Brad B-rad.  BUT I also reserve the right to refer to him as Brad or Mac.  At least now you'll know I didn't lose my mind & marry another guy who the heck I'm talking about.  Deal?!

Labor Day weekend always marks the 'un-official' end of summer.  It makes B-RAD sad because it also means getting ready for harvest & working long hours again.  It seems like just yesterday he got done planting & side dressing.  Sigh.  So for our last weekend at the lake, I really went out in style... when I fell down these stairs in my mil's office in the boat on Friday night (the START of the weekend.)...

Shauna, me & the kids went down Friday evening after work while B-RAD waited for Brian to get off working 2nd shift.  They got there around 2 am & had brought the air mattress for Brian & Shauna to sleep on.  I was going down in that room to help Shauna put sheets on the bed.  I thought I put my foot on the step, but my left leg slid down the edge of the steps while my right leg stayed on top.  (Imagine me doing the splits.) It eventually gave way & twisted up underneath itself.  I don't have any official fun medical jargon for you, just that it hurt like hell.  At first I thought maybe I had broken something because my foot shook after I pulled it out from underneath my leg.   I would LOVE to tell you drinking was involved, but sadly it was not.  It was about 2:30am so I am blaming it mainly on old age being tired. 

After B-RAD hauled me up back on my feet I was able to put weight on it so I figured it wasn't broken.  I sat with an ice pack on it for a while & hobbled went to bed.  

The pain was mainly in my calf muscle.  However I couldn't bend my knee or toes because they pulled on that muscle.  It was still hurting that next morning so my mil went to get me an ice pack & some wrap.  I didn't think I needed a doctor because A) we were in the sticks of Kentucky - they might cut my leg off & B) there's nothing really they can do for a stretched, twisted muscle right?  

This is how I spent MY Labor Day weekend...

I was dependent on the kindness of others for almost everything.  Normally I love to be the center of attention but this was a bit much for me.  People helping me with every meal, people helping me get drinks, people helping me up & down the stairs, people asking me if I needed anything.  I was VERY appreciate they were so sweet to help me.  This was also when my manners came in REAL handy!  "Can you get me a drink, PLEASE?  Thank you."  "Can you hold my cane until I hobble down the stairs, PLEASE?  Thank you." (B-RAD's aunt was there & had had hip surgery a while back which required her to use a cane.  She didn't need it anymore, but had it in the car...so I was all over that.  I felt like a 90 year old woman, why not look like one too?!)  I'm so used to doing things on my own that it's hard for me to adjust to needing help, plus I didn't want to bother anyone.  At breakfast Saturday morning I was sitting on the couch & while B-RAD started to eat his cinnamon rolls I just sat there.  And sat there... My father in law made me a plate & handed it to me. Someone made a smart ass comment to B-RAD & he said, "Oh, sorry... I'm so use to you being independent I didn't even think about it."  Sad, but true...

I spent my days moving from the couch, to the recliner, then maybe in bed for a nap.  I had to keep my leg propped up or it would swell.    I would go upstairs to the top of the boat twice a day.  Once for breakfast, then again before dinner.  I would stay up there for a few hours (because it was a helluva lot of trouble going up & down!)

It still hurt on Tuesday when it was time to go back to work, but I sucked it up & went in.  After walking around for 30 minutes & breaking out into a sweat, I decided I needed to see the doctor.  In his infinite wisdom, he decided that I had indeed suffered trauma to my muscle but was also concerned I could have a blood clot.  Uhm, what?  Normally he said when you suffer a trauma you don't feel it until a day or so later...I felt the pain immediately after so he was concerned I had a clot.   He called the hospital while I sat in the exam room to set up a ultrasound for my leg.  He told them he wanted the results 'stat' & to call his cell phone with them.  Then I started to get a bit nervous.  He didn't think I broke anything, but he wanted an x-ray too 'just to be sure'.  Greaaaat.  He told me to alternate 500mg of Tylenol & Aleve for the pain, that I had pretty, sparkly toenails & to take the rest of the week off work.  

I have never been admitted to a hospital & the only time I went to the ER was when I broke my ankle when I was like 13.  Mom did all the heavy lifting for that!  The whole 'registration' thing made me kinda anxious.  They gave me 2 papers with all these stickers.  One for the heart/vascular place for the ultrasound & one for radiology.  

Then shit got REAL when they put this bracelet on me.  Anxious kicked into overdrive...

First I went to the vascular place because of the clot possibility thing.  OBVIOUSLY I've never had an ultrasound but I'm sure you crazy people with kids parents are familiar with the process.  The tech lubed me up from hip to ankle & used that little wand thingie all the way down my leg to check it for clots.  Luckily, there weren't any.  She called the doctor & told him my test was 'negative' & he had her tell me to use 'moist heat' on my leg 4-5 times a day for 15 minutes.  

 Next I hobbled to radiology for my x-ray.  I ran into a blog stalker there (Hi, Robin!) & we chatted for a few minutes until they called me back.

The x-ray tech was a 'younger' guy who was very friendly.  When we got in the room he started drilling me with really personal questions:

Young guy:  "Are you pregnant or is there a possibility you're pregnant?"

Me:  Dear God I hope not.  "No."

Young guy:  "Any tubal or hysterectomy?"

Me: (I assumed he meant had I HAD a tubal pregnancy ever or had a hysterectomy?) "No."

Young guy:  "When was your last period?"

Me:  WHAT THE F***? "Uhm, I don't know."  I usually only review the answer to that question before I walk into the gyno for my annual! UHM, a couple of weeks ago or so?  

I survived the x-ray inquisition & made my way home to rest.  The doctor called me this evening & I did not break any bones.  He told me I had 'beaten up my leg pretty good' & to take it easy & keep resting.  

I am moving very slowly but walking better today & not using the cane.  You would be surprised how bad it hurts to get up & down from the toilet when you can't bend you leg.  Try it - I dare ya.   I have to be careful not to twist it side to side because that really hurts.  I'm mainly walking in straight lines.  The other bad news is that I haven't met my deductible yet for this year...who knows how much this getting older bullshit tumble is gonna cost me?