Up to my eyeballs in decisions...about my eyeballs...

I've got a sordid tale to tell ya. It's a tale about my eyeballs. It's got all the elements of a good story too... a main character that you care intensely about (uh, that's me...), emotion, suspense... & it's kinda gross so be ready!

I told ya a couple of weeks ago about my scratched cornea that resulted in me wearing my glasses for a whole week! Yikes! Well, the scratched cornea is the fault of this sordid tale...

Let me break it down for you in timeline fashion...

Thurs, Mar 17th - My right contact was bothering me all morning so I kept rubbing my eye. Then I took my contact out & rinsed it off. Nope, still hurting. The pain was so intense I went home at lunch & put on my glasses. Sigh...glasses...

Fri, Mar 18th - tried to wear my contacts to work. Nope. Still painful. Day 2 of glasses. Also during this time I'm inundated with suggestions from my facebook friends to get 'Lasik'.

Mon, Mar 21st - after going all.freaking.weekend with no contacts I tried yet again to wear them. That worked for about 2 hours until it hurt so bad that my eyeball felt like it was gonna throb outta my head that I put on glasses again AND called the eye doctor. She diagnosed my scratched cornea, gave me some anti-biotic drops, told me to not wear my contacts for a week & sent me on my way. Sigh....

It was during this time that I started to contemplate Lasik surgery. I was told that you can't wear your contacts for a certain amount of time before because they change the shape of your eye, blah, blah, blah. And I figured I had been in my glasses for a week & a half, maybe it was a good time to think about it. And of course, I went to the wise & all-knowing people of facebook for their opinions...

Mon, Mar 28th - It's GO time for contacts! Oh, happy day! It had been 1 whole entire week & since I obey doctor's orders I had NOT worn them! Put 'em in - pain. Hhhhmmm? Ok, maybe my eye is just getting used to thin plastic foreign object back in my eye? I put them in at 6:30am & by 9:30am I had to take them back out. I called the eye doctor back to see if I needed to come back. Of course the answer was YES. So I go BACK to the doctor & the scratch hasn't healed. At all. She was very confused so she called in another doctor. Reinforcements. He looked around & at one point flipped my eye lid back. EEEK! I didn't realize what he was doing until it was already done! He asked if I had allergies & I said, "Yes, I'm allergic to everything. I was on allergy shots & finished my rotation a couple of years ago." Apparently I had 'cobblestones' (which to us commoners are red, swelled bumps) on the inside of my eyelid. Everytime I blinked, the red bumps were rubbing the scratch & not letting it heal. THIS time I went away with steroid drops 4 times a day, no glasses for 3 more days & go back to the doctor on Thursday.

Now I'm seriously thinking of Lasik. I mean, this is a load of crap....

Thurs, Mar 31st - go back to the eye doctor. The scratch is finally healing, but there is still a small spot. Keep using the drops & no contacts until Saturday. I ask the eye doctor about Lasik. She says she thinks I would be a perfect candidate for it...

This is when I called for a consultation about Lasik.

Wed, Apr 6th - I go to Louisville for a Lasik consultation. (My mom had the RK surgery done back in 1994. That's where they took a blade to cut your cornea & then zapped it fixed. Now everything is done with a laser. The laser cuts a flap on your cornea, they lay the flap back, zap you with a laser, fold the cornea flap back down & voila, you can see. Sounds great, right? UHM, the cornea flap lasering kinda freaked me out.) So I go to the consultation. They do all kinda tests to your eyes. They make a pretty, colorful map of your cornea, they check your vision & then they test your cornea thickness. (That was really gross. They gave me numbing drops & I KNOW she was sticking something in my eye...but I couldn't feel it...)

Here's something funny-you know how they make you read the black letters & numbers on the wall when they check your vision?

The lady said, "I know the answer to this, but can you read what's on the wall?!"

I said, "I can't even see anything."

"You don't see the white box?"

"I see a white area, it's not a box. I don't see any black letters."

"Ok, that's 20/200. That's the furthest I have in here."

"Uhm, what am I then?"

"You don't even register on the chart, honey. We classify you as 'can see fingers 1-2' in front of your face'."

Yup, that's about right....

Ok-so the consultation chick tells me I would be a good candidate for Lasik. I did NOT see a surgeon, just a lady. She told me the cost with my vision discount card would be $3600 total. Gasp. She explains how the whole procedure will work, what happens afterward & everything. It would take the laser 30 seconds to cut the cornea flap thingie on both eyes. Then because I am considered 'severly nearsighted' it would take the next laser 60-70 seconds for each eye to repair my vision.

So I went home & felt uneasy about the whole thing. I just didn't know what I wanted to do. I mean, these are my EYES for crying out loud. I wanted a second opinion.

Thurs, Apr 7th - I made an appointment for a consultation at the John Kenyon Eye center in Louisville. (I'm still wearing my glasses, by the way. 3 freakin' weeks...)

Fri, Apr 8th - I go to the consultation. At John Kenyon you actually see a surgeon. They poke & prod me just like the other place did, but they dilated my eyes. It was pretty funky. I couldn't read my phone with my glasses on. Everything was distorted. Check out those pupils!So the surgeon reads my cornea scans & he says that I have some 'steep' areas. He said on a scale of 1-10, I'm a 1, but they will not perform Lasik on someone that has any steepness. BUT, he has something else up his sleeve.

Ok-check this out. Lasik is basically pain free. I mean, you have discomfort but no real pain. PLUS as soon as they're done & you open your eyes, you can see. Magic! What he suggested we do is something called ASA. Advanced surface ablation. Sounds fun, huh? Here's how IT works: They put some alcohol solution stuff on your eyes that softens the tissue on your cornea. They push it to the side (gag). Then you go under the laser that actually repairs your vision. Since you don't have that lovely natural corneal flap, they have to put a soft contact lens on your eyes to serve as a band-aid. There is an element of pain that you don't have with Lasik. He said when they originally started the procedure the pain levels reported were 'fours'. Now they're 'ones'. Ain't that lovely? PLUS your vision can take 3-6 months to improve. At first things would be 'hazy', but they will continually get better. You have to miss 5 days of work. (It's like 1-2 with Lasik). The cost is normally $5000 for both eyes, but right now they're running a special where it's $4000. Holy crap.

The lady was really nice & even showed me the room where they torture, er I mean, perform the procedure. There was even a viewing room for B-rad to watch. It totally reminded me of when they put someone to sleep & the victim's families can watch. I did envision making him sneak in a camera to take pics for you loyal blog stalkers. Is that wrong?!

They sent me home with all kinds of papers to read & sign (in case they blind me, I can't sue them...) & all the pre-op & post-op instructions were there. For like a week before you have to take Omega 3 capsules & special eye drops. The day before (& for 1 week after) NO MAKE UP. WHAAAAAA?!?!??! Then there's all kinds of stuff ya gotta do & drops ya gotta use AFTER the surgery. (Here's a good one, you can't rub your eyes. AT ALL. If they itch, ya gotta press lightly under your tear duct thingie. PLUS they give you goggles to wear at night so you don't rub them in your sleep & so your spouse doesn't smack you in the eyes in their sleep!)

Sigh...so I've been thinking about it. And while it would be SOOO nice not to have to mess with my contacts (The kind for my eyes have to be taken out every day. AND I can't sleep in them overnight.) & glasses, is it worth all the pain? Is it worth waiting 3-6 months for my vision to get as good as it's gonna get? Is it worth $4000?! I mean, if I hadn't contracted that other medical condition that caused me to spend a chunk of our savings because B-rad just HAS to go see Celine Dion & sit in the 15th row in Vegas, I might have entertained the idea.

I have been wearing contacts for probaby 18 years. I'm used to them. They are just part of my daily routine & ritual. And yes, it will suck being on a plane for 9 days to get to Hawaii & having to mess with taking them out if I want to go to sleep. But this is just what I do. I will have to deal.

I'm back to wearing my contacts & everything is right in the world again. And if you stuck with me & read this whole thing - God Bless You. I heart my loyal stalkers...