A birthday party story told by a gal with no kids

Alicia was kind enough to invite us to Nora's 1st birthday party...uhm, like 2 weeks ago.  Yes, I realize she's nearly 2 now, but whatever - I've got funny stories to tell...

The theme was lady bugs & in true Alicia McAfee style, she went all out.  I love that about her.  I hate details & crap like that & she leaves NO detail out!  (Including red buckets for the food to which she glued black cotton balls.  Really?!)

Here's the party planner with a lady bug face mask.   (And that is NOT one of her children.  There were so many babies here I nearly broke out in hives.  I tried to be diligent to not let the mommies breath in my direction or accidentally drink after one of them...)

 The birthday girl!  Shame on you if you thought Nora wouldn't match the theme.  That tutu was TOO cute & the bow was huge. 

 There were lots of little boys at the par-tay.  And they were wound.up.  Running, yelling & doing little boy stuff...

 Jake tried on the lady bug mask too! 

 Gabe kept acting like he was going to touch the cake.  His mother had a watchful eye on him & told him to stop.  (Then I told him to do it again for just one more second so I could take a pic...)

 I don't know who did this - but this is genius.  Mazden sat in this bucket of toys for-ever.  She was quiet, she was playing & she was safely away from those rowdy, loud boys.

 This cake was adorable!

 Nora dived right into her cake.  It was a disgusting mess.  She was also drinking milk.  Uh, I hate milk.  I don't drink it, I don't like it to touch me.  GAG.  So the picture ya'll don't get to see is the one of Nora with a long, disgusting trail of milk drool hanging out of her mouth...and her mother (my friend, by the way) acting like she was going to wipe it on me.  Good times...

 Alicia switched into teacher mode & assigned us all jobs while Nora opened presents.  My job was to video so I didn't get many pics.  But it was a tough job because the kids were really excited to see presents. 

 I usually like to try & stay to help Alicia clean up.  I mean, that's the least I can do for my friend who tries to wipe disgusting milk drool on me.  THIS is what I found in the sink.  Oh, the humanity.  Look at the water pooled there at the bottom.  Look at the cup of milk just waiting to make me barf.  
And that poor, poor lady bugs behind.  Tragic.  

However, I was able to pick stuff up to be thrown away & wandered around long enough that Denise washed it off.  Shew.  Thanks Denise, you totally saved me from that milk...

This is how the universe treats me...

Stalkers!  It's me, Jaime Mac!!!!  I was shamed beyond belief encouraged by many of you to get my blogging mojo back.  Sigh.  I know, I know - it's been tough on you all...not hearing from me...not laughing at my life...not enjoying my lengthy stories.  Alas - I assure you - it has been harder on me.

I'm not gonna lie to you, I feel like my life is in a tail spin.  I have lots of decisions to ponder.  Lots of hard choices to make.  I hate being a responsible adult.  Boo hoo. 

Anywho-I've missed ya'll with all.my.heart.  You know I need your affirmation to know my life has meaning.  (Even if it is via terroristic threatening.)  Who am I kidding?  I love the attention...

And with that - lets do this...

I have been uber busy with the jewelry biz.  Busy is not bad, it's just busy.  Busy means I'm out there working my jewelry lady butt off.  Busy means I'm making some moo-lah to buy more purses.  (Yea, uhm - my recent tail spin has caused me to buy 3 purses in the last 2 weeks.  No.lie.  I'm trying to fill an empty hole... with cute bags... it does help....)

You know how I go to Texas in July for Rally, right?  Of course, this year is no different.  I've also told you a billion times how Premier recognizes us for our hard work.  They have a reward called the "Founders Club".  It is for the top 5% in retailing & sponsoring in the country for March, April & May.  If you are on track at the end of April's accounting period, you get to register early for rally.  This.is.a.huge.deal.  This means you get first dibs at hotels.  Like hotels across the street from the convention center.  And you don't have to stay 10 miles outta town & be shuttled in on buses everyday & everynight like cattle.  BIG.DEAL.

Soooooo, I was ecstatic when I got this email from Premier:

Oh yea, baby.  Look at me.  I get to register EARLY!  Nanny nanny boo boo!  So I put a reminder in my phone & was all poised & ready at the computer at the time it opened.  And tragedy struck... The website kept saying the webpage 'could not be displayed'.  The words we all dread.  I thought, "Ok-it's like concert tickets.  Everyone's trying to get on it - it'll be a minute."  I tried for 20 minutes.  NOTHING!  GULP.  So I called Premier & got this lovely message "please hold.  There are 63 callers ahead of you."  Oh, the humanity.  I knew at that point it was them, not me.  Sadly, I had an appointment & couldn't hold the line nor be in front of my computer. 

An hour or so later - I got this email.  Yea, the universe hates me. 

Thankfully, Premier re-opened registration 2 days later & I was able to get registered & get a downtown hotel.  Maybe the universe was forgiving me?

Ok, the next thing.  I've had this washer & dryer since B-rad & I got married.  That's like 12 1/2 years ago.  Recently the dryer quit drying on the medium setting.  Not a huge deal, but how long do you think it takes to dry stuff on low?  A long freakin' time. 

 Mom & I went to Home Depot to get paint for the bathroom & I looked at new washers & dryers.  I found a set I liked, but you know me, miss cheap skate (unless it's a purse...all bets are off...) I didn't buy one.  I came home & talked to B-rad about it to see what he thought.  He said, "What does it matter what I think - I'm not the one who uses them."  Oh, how I love him.

They were having a sale, blah, blah, blah so I went back & bought them.  However, everyone else must've needed the exact set I got because they were backordered for 2 weeks.  Ok, no problem - I've still got mine to use. 

I spent one whole day doing as much laundry as humanly possible to get it caught up so B-rad could get the other set out when he could squeeze it into his busy planting schedule.

Oh, happy day when the delivery guys came & my new pretty washer & dryer were all ready to be loaded into my house & start cleaning some clothes.

 These things have more buttons than a space ship.  And you know I love me some space ship inspired electronics.

 HOWEVER...can anyone tell me what's wrong with THIS picture?  Why yes, stalkers - there's something missing.  The WASHER!!!!

When they brought the washer in, it was giving them a door lock error.  A sensor was bad so they called in & ordered me a new one.  They would call me in 24 hours to tell me the new delivery date.  UHM, ok...I can live for another day or two.  I could take laundry to moms or B-rad's parents....for a day or two....

I got the call... "Mrs. McAfee-we have set your washer delivery date for MAY 8TH."  For the love of God...that's 2 weeks away.  So - the universe hates me again...

I made several phone calls.  I begged.  I pleaded.  To no avail.  The washer is on backorder (like it was when I bought it) again.  Since I'm a spoiled brat - there is NO way I'm travelling all over the country to do our laundry.  I mean, really....

I have asked B-rad to bring the washer back into the house.  He said he will...when he gets time.  Sigh...  If our clothes look dirty, please forgive us. It's the universe - we can't help it.

I'm not dead...yet...

Ok, so I kid... kinda.  It's been 3.whole.weeks since I last talked to you.  And apparently 3 weeks is the time it takes for stalkers to worry.  Thank you for your concern.... but I'm in a deep, dark place right now.

Sigh.  I don't want to get out of bed in the morning to come to work.  I've had a few jewelry shows the last few weeks & after spending 8 hours in Hell on Earth, I just want to go home & go to bed.  BUT, the show must go on, so I have to literally pray all the way there & tell God I need him to help me put Hell on Earth behind me & be a fun jewelry lady & work my jewelry lady butt off.  By the time I get to the show, Jaime the jewelry lady is on & ready.  She puts a smile on her face & works.that.room.  Then, she goes home, goes to bed & doesn't want to get up the next day to go back to Hell on Earth.  BLAH.

I have some stories to tell, but my heart is just not in it right now.  And ya'll KNOW how seriously I take my blog & my stories.  If I can't tell them in proper Jaime Mac fashion, they ain't gonna be told until they can be.  The bathroom is done being painted.  It's a lovely shade of..... (I'm not telling yet...) (of course, there's nothing else done - B-rad's busy planting & I'm busy not killing myself...) I also attended a birthday party for a sweet little gal that turned one.  Boy, do I have a story of the most disgusting cake shrapnel you've ever seen.  You're gonna love it when I get my groove back... 

I have found hell on earth.

So here's what's happening with me: I am in my own personal version of hell. And it goes by the name of Jacobi sales. Let me break it down for you this way. Picture it: you have your job responsibilities. You perform those job responsibilities. Then a good for nothing jerk walks out & never returns so you are expected to do HIS job responsibilities. (& people are rude where I work. No "thank you". No "we appreciate you". It gets real old reaaaaal quick. Siiiiiigh. Also picture the chaos of spring time, grass growing at an accelerated pace & farmers itching to get in the field. It's all a perfect storm & I'm in the eye... Since y'all don't know what I do (because you never ask because you're wayyyyy more concerned about my uterus) you will not understand why this sucks soo much. Just trust me when I say I.am.in.hell. I ran around our property so much yesterday that my legs were sore. Great, exercise. Humph. I can't seem to get caught up & feel like I'm drowning in an ocean of papers. Boo hiss. As I type I'm at lunch because I need/deserve an hour away from that place. I am losing my mind, I want to quit -you get the drift. So, that's where I am. Tired. Annoyed. Frustrated. In other news we (b-rad) are working on the bathroom. We put up that blue tape stuff to paint around Sunday night. Turns out I didn't do my tape right (shocker) & he had to re-tape it. We've got 1 coat of primer on the walls & will probably have to use another one because of the pattern on the walls. (you'll see in the before & after pics.) B-rad is one of those itching to get in the field farmers so he is über busy too. I need to go this week to pick out paint. Sigh. Please pray that I don't A) kill any co-workers. B) kill any customers. C) kill myself.