Trespassers, beware!

Another advantage to living in the middle of nowhere is that people can come to your house & have target practice without shooting someone or something. It becomes a disadvantage when said target practice happens right at nap time. Hmph.

Jer called yesterday to see if he & mom could come shoot a little. I was actually making an early supper (shocking, I know...) so I said sure. When they got here, I went out to watch/make fun/document.

Mom is a gun totin', God fearin' woman. Do NOT mess with her. She packs heat, people. Notice the bandages on her arm? I thought maybe she got beat up & that had sparked her need to freshen up on her shooting?! I said, "Mom, did you get in a fight or something?!" Nope, turns out it was just poison ivy...
More instructions from Jeremy...

Then he made mom take a break so he could play Rambo.

More telling what to do... Then he told her, "YOU pick up the casings...

I'LL re-load the gun!" (She can't do it fast enough for his liking. She says it's because 'my fingers don't work like they used to'. He says it's because she's doing it wrong. What have I told ya'll about tough love?!)

Mom says, "Hey Jaime, do YOU want to shoot?!" UHM-here's the thang. I've never ever ever ever shot a gun. Don't wanna. It's a very scary thing. I'm a control freak but a gun is more control than even I care to have. What an incredible power to hold in your hand. Life or death? Mame or dismember? Tomatoe, tomato?

I finally relented & said, "SURE!" Jer was more than happy to do what we do best - tell people what to do...

'Don't hold your hands this way or you'll slice your thumb open!'

'Don't EVER put your finger on the trigger until you're ready to fire. NEVER, EVER!' (I beg of you to make the picture bigger & look at my face! This was my 2nd or 3rd shot. I did NOT realize what a gun does to you when you fire! Wowza!)

Obviously I have to idea how to stand. Jer really wasn't concerned about my stance. I did get a 'LOCK YOUR ELBOWS!' at one point...

Notice I have moved closer to the target? Uh, yea-my shot sucks. I don't think I hit the target once.

He would yell, "LOW!" "HIGH!" after every shot. Duh...but thanks...I did NOT like shooting. It made me super nervous. My hands were shaking. I'm not sure if it was because my arms launched into the air after every shot or because I was shooting actual bullets out of an actual gun? It's a toss up....

I do believe it is the right of every American to own a firearm. Period. My dad has always had guns since we were young. But I also feel it is every Americans responsibility to know HOW to shoot that gun.

{And while I'm on my soapbox about our 'rights', since yesterday was Memorial Day, I would like to mention some special people who are working right now to allow us to keep those rights! My cousins husband, Chris, is currently serving over-seas (he's back in the states right now for 2 weeks! Amber is super excited!). B-rad's cousin, Derek, is in Iraq right now serving as well. My cousin, Kevin, is enlisted but is not serving active duty right now. Thank you to all of you & your families for your sacrifice!}

So trespassing horseback riders, BEWARE! I'm not playing with your asses anymore! Come on our property & I will shoot!!! A horse is a MUCH bigger target than that silly thing I was shooting at!

***(Of course, I'm kidding...I would never, ever shoot a horse! {The rider is a different story...I need to work on my aim!} I'm an animal lover, remember?!)***

The most exciting thing to happen around here...ever...

You've heard me use the saying 'new to us' when referring to equipment the boys buy for the farm. But this time....well, THIS time...it's actually NEW new to us!

The boys bought a new tractor. A brand spankin' new tractor. This is the first time in history they have ever bought a piece of farm equipment brand new. All the years their dad farmed, he never, ever bought anything new. This bad dog has never been used in a field....never been hooked to anything...never had the plastic taken off the seats...never had a chance to not smell new... This thing is a beast. This is just the air/heat controls & fuel gauges! It's a technological marvel. And you know how B-rad likes his technological marvels...
I wouldn't want this thing barrelling towards me...

I'm sure I don't have to tell you how excited B-rad was. He was as giddy as a school girl. Brian was nervous & wanted to throw up... (borrrrring...)... But ya gotta have the yin for the yang.

Cole was over at the barn when I went to see the marvel. He really didn't care about it. He just rode back & forth and back & forth on the 4-wheeler.

Of course potty breaks are a must... B-rad was busy putting the planter monitors in the new marvel. It was later in the evening when I was there. And ya know I'm always looking for a way to get out of cooking supper. "Hey B-rad, why don't you come home & we'll go get something to eat?" Crickets... There was nothing that could seperate B-rad from his new marvel.

These guys are so funny. They kept finding cool things the new marvel did. You'd hear, 'HEY such & such! Did you see THIS?!"

When I came home, I saw a guy on a horse in our field. Hmmmm? (Please notice who ran out into the field to bark at the horse when I got home...dog....) I don't know anyone that would ride a horse in our field? I pulled in & he had stopped at the edge of the field by the road. Hmmmm? I watched him for a minute & he just stood there. I walked over to the edge of the field & said, "Can I help you?!" He said, "Oh, I'm just walking back home. I live on Buffalo Trace Road." I said, "Well, there are beans in this field & they are starting to come up. I hope you didn't walk on them." He said, "Oh no, I saw them. I just walked on the edge where there was grass." I wanted to say more, but I decided against it. I'm ballsy-not stupid. I was home alone. I didn't know who this dude was. I didn't know if he had a gun or not. I didn't know if he was on drugs or not. I didn't know if I would say something to piss him off & he'd come back & burn our house down.

But the more I thought about it, the more it pissed me off. I don't understand WHY people think they can do whatever they want on someone elses property? Whether it's walking on it, riding a horse on it, whatever. It's ours - not yours. My friend & neighbor, Katrina's, hubby likes to ride his 4-wheeler in the field. He asked for our persmission. He knows to ride on the edge of the field when the crops are coming up. DUH. That's respect. I don't know where this dude gets off just walking around. Let alone dismounting his horse & just standing in the field. But here's the real kicker - if this dude or his horse got hurt on our property...he could sue us. Even if he didn't have permission to be here. It's so dumb...

Wild child goes to the vet

One of the faithful & loyal steeds was sick & had to go to the doctor. Sparky is our wild child. He is not the loving, cuddling kitty that Sonny is. (Sparky & I are a lotta like. I'm not so much the cuddly, loving type either...)

I HATE taking either of them to the vet...but especially Sparky. He cries horrible cries all the way there & I can always expect a special, smelly surprise in the carrier. Sigh.

I have been noticing that everytime I looked at him, he was going to the bathroom. Whether its in the yard or in the litter box in the basement, he's trying to go to the bathroom. Weird... During the storms Wednesday night, I let them both in the basement with me & Sparky pee'd on the wall. And it was pink. Even I'm smart enough to know nobody should have pink pee. Pretty?, yes. Right?, Nope...

I loaded him up into the car Saturday morning & headed to the vet. Doesn't he look pitiful? Don't let him fool you. What I couldn't get pics of is when he was thrashing around the carrier trying to get out. And clawing at the front gate. I'm talking full-on claws out on that gate. Whoa look at those eyes. He.is.pissed.
They took him back to get some fecal samples. I said, "Well, he already went in the carrier so you've got a fresh sample!" I also warned that he still has his claws. They kept him in the back for awhile. They clipped his nails & did some tests. Then they brought in the towel I had in the carrier for him that he had pooped on & a bottle. Ruh roh...we're gonna have to give him medicine. Fun.for.us....

She finally brought him into the room with me. I tried to talk to him & explain to him how everything would be ok. Yes, I realize that was stupid, but I did it anyway. If you look closely towards the bottom of the door, you can see the poop on the gate. Gag...

Sparky has a urinary tract infection so she injected him with an antibiotic & gave me some to give him at home. He also has 2 different types of worms so I got medicine for that too. She also gave me worm medicine for Sonny because he probably has the same worms.

$200 (!) later & I was out the door. Last night when B-rad got home we attempted to give him the medicine. B-rad put his foot down & wouldn't allow me to take pics of the medicine attempt. "Do you realize how ballistic he's going to be & I'm gonna be trying to hold him down & YOU wanna take pictures?!" Yea, B-rad...that sounds about right...

We had quite the scene with the medicine. We got a little down & he flipped out & got away. Then he started drooling & acting funny. B-rad got him back & then I had to hold him & B-rad was going to give the medicine. "You don't squirt it in fast enough. You're too timid about it!"

While I held him & B-rad started squirting the medicine, he started foaming at the mouth. Whaaa?!! (Good thing we got the rabies vaccine while we were at the vet!) Then we were worried he was allergic to the medicine. We didn't get the worm medicine in him last night or this morning. We figure the antibiotic is more important right now.

Sparky is fine, don't worry! (Turns out he's a drama queen. He gets that from B-rad...)

I got nothin'...

I'm not really sure what to call this post. And I've been so busy at work AND at home (BOO!) that I didn't even have time to come up with something clever. Eh, here we go!

I had my 11th jewelry show of the month last night. It was at Jer's girlfriend, Rhonda's! Of course, mom went with me. I kinda like having her tag along. She helps carry in my stuff! Rhonda's birthday is 2 days after mine. She had a birthday party for her dog/herself (yea, don't ask...) the Friday after our birthdays. I had jewelry show 6 of 12 that night & couldn't make it. Sooooo, Rhonda being the sickening sweet nice that she is, made me mini cupcakes for my birthday! (Uhm, after Easter Sunday Mom had a Lily on her table. I said, "Is that from Rhonda?" Mom said, "Yes." I replied, "What a suck up!" Mom said, "Well, turn around..." I turned to look at the cabinet & on top was a glittery purple box with purple Easter grass filled with Reese Peanut butter eggs....from Rhonda....for me. Mom said, "Do you STILL think she's a suck up?!" I said, "YES! - but now it's working out for MEEEEEE!"

She put little "J's" on the cupcakes. Then she realized she sould've made them purple (yea, uh duh...), but in all fairness, they DID have purple glitter on them! They were french vanilla with chocolate & peanut butter inside! YUM!

She even had a special birthday plate just for me. As I was taking this pic, she said, "NO WAIT!"
Take one with YOUR special cupcake on it! (Is she a closet blogger or WHAT?!) My special cupcake had a candle on it...

While the ladies were playing in the jewelry, Rhonda made a big announcement about how my birthday was a couple of weeks ago & they all sang 'Happy Birthday'.

UHM-do you notice what this crazy weather is doing to my freakin' hair?

It's REALLY starting to frizz! And it's not even SUMMER yet!!!! The chick that cuts my hair says, "Well...sometimes your hair just changes as you get older." WHA?!?!?! This is not acceptable. We can send men to the moon. We can surf the web, listen to music & read all on tiny hand held devices. But we can't invent something to make my hair not frizzy & not curly? Really?!

Mom's hair is really curly & wavy & she just laughs at me because she's not very nice...

I bought some frizz-ease to try & still use a flat iron to flatten it within an inch of its life. Sigh. Why can't our hair just do what we want?! Why can't I just deal with curly & frizzy hair? Oh, no, no, no....that will NEVER do!

The birthday that wasn't & other current events

So I know ya'll have missed me. Duh...that's just a given. Let me tell you about the madness...

Last Tuesday was my birthday...my 35th birthday... We all know how I would love every day to be all about me. And this is especially true on my birthday. However...it didn't really go that way this year. Hmph. Usually my mom makes me dinner (which is my choice. Whatever I want. Oh, happy day...), but since it had rained for 40 days & 40 nights, B-rad was out in the fields planting like a mad man. AND I had a jewelry show. "A jewelry show on your birthday?!" Oh, yes my pretties... just you wait... So no birthday dinner. But I DID get birthday presents! B-rad got me a plaque for my desk, mom got me a Kindle gift card & Lora got me a Kindle gift card & some new ear buds for my iPhone (purple ones...duh...)

Back to my birthday for a second... I turned 35. And I don't really care. I don't feel 35. I don't (think I) look 35. Eh, you're only as old as you feel, right? But I'm also kinda excited about 35.

Ya know why? 2 things:

#1-my car insurance premium went down. Woot Woot!

#2-the 'great count-down' at the gyno is over. She used to ask me how old I was & then tell me how many good 'birthing' years I had left until 35. (I say 'used to' because I finally told her how I roll...& we don't do that count down anymore...) Well, ha ha - the magic number has happened. It's o-v-e-r. Now I can tell everyone that still hasn't learned their lesson about asking me when I'm having kids that I'm barren. Oh, happy day again...

Ok-the jewelry show on my birthday. Stalkers, Premier is trying to kill me. Period. They are. Those of you that have stalked for a while may remember last year how I nearly DIED trying to win a special prize. But I did it. I'm competitive that way...

Every year Premier does a special for jewelers in May for Joan's birthday. And THIS was last years gem: I still love it & I only wear it on REALLY special occasions because I don't wanna lose it or break it! Well, THIS year Premier has stepped it up a notch (or 20...)

Joan passed away in December so Andy designed a special bracelet in her memory. Guess what I have to do to GET this bracelet? Sigh...It's a staggered contest. There are 3 special ensembles that will be available in the fall/winter catalog. And we can earn pieces from them in May.

3 shows & $xxx retail - you get the earrings from any set. 6 shows & $xxx retail-you get the earrings & bracelet. 9 shows & $xxx retail you get the whole freakin' ensemble. 12 shows(!) & $xxx retail-you get the whole smash. One whole ensemble AND the bracelet. (Last year was 10 shows & $xxx retail for the bracelet only...)

Uhm, yea-guess what I want?! And we also know how I've been in a super duper jewelry slump lately, right? Well, this really made my jewelry bootay get into gear. First I got out my calendar & prayed. Ya'll know I'm not too religious..I believe in God & all that jazz, but I decided that whatever I was doing before wasn't working so I should try something else! I prayed & asked Him that if it was His will for me to get bookings & re-start my business that I needed His help. (Maybe it seems silly to pray for bookings? I don't know? Premier is a Faith based company & I needed an extra hand from somebody...) I got 5 bookings that very night. Wow...

I am truly blessed because I called my friends & family & begged them to help me by having a jewelry show in May. My mom has even been pimping me out to her friends & I've actually got one of their shows on Saturday. Of course I offered them another carrott besides the free jewelry from their show & I must say they really stepped up. Currently I am very, very close to achieving my goal. I don't wanna jinx it but I can almost feel the cool touch of those charms against my skin. Almost... I don't wanna count my chickens before they hatch & I am working on being humble. Gulp, that's a tough one.

Oh, & are you wondering about B-rad? Yea, that other guy that is actually the farming McAfee?! Well...uhm... he's been in a tractor. Trying to plant. And when he wasn't doing that on Sunday, he was home all day bugging me. That's all...

B-rad is going stir crazy... (which is working out quite nicely for me...)

Since its been raining for 40 days & 40 nights...B-rad's normal routine of going non-stop this time of year has been interrrupted. And B-rad's not the kinda guy who likes to sit around...for too long. Don't get me wrong, there's been many a night he come home from work & just sat & watched what I wanted on the tv. But its finally gotten to him. And he had to do something...

It began with him going to Home Depot one night after work & spending $200(!) on light stuff. (See why I don't like him to go shopping alone?!) He bought me these little light thingies for my desk.

They really give me a ton more light when I'm working in there!

Score #1 for Jaime Mac!Next lighting project was outside. Our landscaping out front realllly had a bad year last year. I was going like a house fire with official jewelry business & usually I am the one who mulches & pulls weeds & all that crappy stuff. (B-rad's always busy farming, remember?) Well since I didn't do it...it didn't get done. The landscape lights were in bad shape too. Some were out, the spotlights were broken (I say B-rad hit them with the mower, but he says the faithful & loyal steeds did it. Hmph.).

On his $200 shopping spree he bought new spotlights...
and this cool little thing right here. See the black cord & little black thingie on the porch rail? That's a dusk to dawn sensor. The lights come on when it gets dark enough & turn off when its light enough. (Don't let him fool you. This was totally for him! We had a timer before but it was manual. I was constantly telling him, 'You need to go out & change the time for the lights!') Now it's all automatic.

Here's the house lit up a night. I promise it doesn't really look as bright as the White House like it does in this pic. My fancy schmancy camera does a nice job in the dark, huh?!

Score #2 for Jaime Mac...

Since B-rad was all about home improvement projects, I decided to harness his energy for more powers of good. (And something that would totally help me out...just sayin'....) I said, "Hey, why don't you help me put down mulch this weekend?" Crickets... He replied, "Ok I will." (UHM it's never that easy...) "Unless we're spraying." (Told ya...)

He stopped on his way home from work on Friday to get a load of mulch in his truck. I was doing official jewelry business Friday night & wasn't home. But when I got home...he had almost finished spreading all that mulch. Oh, happy day! Sadly, he didn't have enough to finish so I was going to have to go back Saturday & get more to spread. Boo for me...

B-rad went to the barn for a bit Saturday morning but Brian wasn't there so he came home. He said, "C'mon, I'll go with you to get mulch." (I know it's just because he didn't want me to drive his truck.)

Eh, who cares? Score #3 for Jaime Mac!

After the sprinkles of rain cleared out Saturday afternoon we were outside ready to spread mulch.

My job was to dig new holes & plant new bushes to replace some dead plants B-rad had pulled out . I did a great job digging my hole. I walked away...to do something important...(not to take pictures or anything...) and THIS happened:

Sparky. Peeing in the hole I dug. Apparently for him to use. Oh, I haven't told you about the newest animal drama! We've had this beagle hanging around. Of course, I feed her. I can't not feed her. She was covered with ticks so I stopped & got Frontline for her. And the cats (I didn't want the ticks on her to get on them too!).

10 minutes & $100 later I was outta the pet store. Sigh... Brian brought the semi over to start spraying & Cole was with him. You have to be kidding me if you think I didn't put him to work. Psssh! Just for all you Cole-admirers! (There's more to come of little Cole...)

Brady pulled up to the semi a little bit later. He came over too. (Not because I yelled, "BRADY!" & started motioning him towards the house. Not.at.all.)

Cole really liked the dog. He kept asking me what her name was. I haven't really given her a name. You know how it is. You name the dog. You get attached. Blah, blah, blah.

But Cole insisted on a name so I said, 'Lily'. (I'm such a sap.) Then, later Cole asked me if I could change her name to something else? Punk...

No one gets a free ride when there's mulch to be put down.

Right after that pic above, Cole dumped the wheel barrel over. Brady stepped in & Cole got mad & went away pouting.

Nope, we're not attached to the dog.

She's a really sweet dog. Very timid. We don't know if she got dumped or has just been visiting from a neighbors. She's probably using me for the Kibble n bits...& $48 package of Frontline...

I had a small male-McAfee workforce going.
Score #4 for Jaime Mac!

They were doing fine without me...I would just be in the way...

When Cole was done pouting, I gave him clipper thingies to cut the little suckling off the trees. No worries, he eventually got bored with that...

Like I said, Brian was in the field spraying. When he would come within site of the dog, she'd run to the field & bark at him. I didn't even train her to do that. It must be fate. I have to keep her.

If you make the pic big, you can see her nose sticking out of the deck rails. (Look under the deck, you can also see the semi on the hill...) She was keeping a watchful eye on Brian... Before:

After: (Oh yeah, B-rad even put my fountain out. I didn't even have to ASK!) Before:

After:

Before: After: It's amazing to me how much a fresh layer of mulch really spruces the place up!After:

This time B-rad went with cedar mulch instead of what we had used before. You may remember the other mulch making me sick as dog because of all the mold in it? Now when you walk outside it smells like a hope chest. Ahhhh...

Score #5 for Jaime Mac! And just in case you doubt I was out there working...(who do you THINK took all the pictures?) I have proof. A bruise...A painful bruise...that I got when I was loading the wheel barrel with mulch from the back of the truck to roll over to B-rad. Uhm, manually labor is not really my thang...